Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Man...What?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Foto Friday, Through The Lens

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 5 comment(s)

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets..."
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

The "Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest" is quite simply a writing contest sponsored by the English Dept of San Jose State University...its goal is even simpler: compose the worse opening sentence to a novel.

That's right: the WORST.

Past winning efforts have included,

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
- Jim Guigli, Carmichael, CA (2006 Winner)

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."
- Dan McKay, Fargo, ND (2005 Winner)

"The heather-encrusted Headlands, veiled in fog as thick as smoke in a crowded pub, hunched precariously over the moors, their rocky elbows slipping off land's end, their bulbous, craggy noses thrust into the thick foam of the North Sea like bearded old men falling asleep in their pints."
- Gary Dahl, Los Gatos, CA (2000 Winner)

So as I learnt about this ingenious way to encourage the inner poet in all of us and to aid us all in proving that everyone in fact does not have a novel in them, I had to laugh (ok I actually snorted) and had to wonder what would E@L's opening sentence be?

For more inspiration, see here.

So while I do not actually subscribe to the meme craze, I do know there are a number of budding writers out there who might revel in the challenge to come up with their own "worst" opening sentence...E@L, Izzy...anyone else?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Goat

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest, Writing

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 3 comment(s)

I did the grin...

...I know the grin works.

Its a little boy in a candy shop mixed with the hungry need of a predator, it's slightly mocking, good humoured and hints at very very evil thoughts...

...I also know* it makes women wonder 3 things:

1. What the fuck is he thinking?
2. What is it like to kiss that grin?
3. And, is he as good in bed as I think he might be?

* I know this, (not because I am an "arrogant tosser"**), but instead because I have been told just this, even more than once.
** Courtesy Mdme Chiang ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Why Is It So?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Flirting

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 2 comment(s)

An after lunch wandering in the aisles and rows of Borders lets me know that books are my kryptonite*...a morning spent re-arranging finances, clearing credit cards back to zero sums and looking at upcoming expenses did nothing to temper the "grab" that goes along with a seemingly aimless wandering through so many written and as of yet unread words.

So,

The Black Company, by Glen Cook (thanks to Mike and E@L for this new addiction)
Visa Run, by Peter Jaggs (a random purchase in Koh Samui airport)
Napoleon, by Max Gallo (another random Koh Samui purchase)
The Secret History of the World, by Jonathan Black (a Borders purchase of all things esoteric)

Four new additions to my personal library that will soon, or as soon as time allows, no longer be housed on the unread shelf.

I think its safe to say that when it comes to books...Tempus Fugit**

* Well one of them...at least. ~grin~
** Latin: Time Flees. Often mistranslated to "time flies"

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Not A Lot

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Books, Reading

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 4 comment(s)

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Being Messed Around

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Foto Friday, Through The Lens

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 2 comment(s)

While my blog has taken many forms, a few incantations, and even a few turns, the one thing I have tried to do is make sure that it reflects me, my thoughts, ideas, theories and sometimes (though rarely) my immediate experience...instead it has tended towards reflection, the lessons of my past, or as I wrote in 2005:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley, 1792-1822

...it has tended to be the wisdom gleaned from my history, if indeed such can be said about the one sided reflections of anyone's life.

Like my nom-de-plom I agree that history serves to give us lessons to take into our future...the past, if you will, serves the future, just as the present must be mindful to be its caretaker. And that is the place where I currently find myself...needing to caretaker the future by being more mindful of the present. No, this is not a goodbye, but it does mean a slight shift in focus and maybe even direction.

For nearly the past 3 years I have written most frequently about how to go about getting a date, how to act, how to play "the game", how to impress her enough both in and out of the bedroom to ensure that she would want to see you again. My writings have drawn on both immediate and my historical experiences to create a sort of "how to" when it comes to succeeding on a date...something that with borderline arrogant pride I concede that i am very good at...but for some time I have been wondering about the next bit?

So while I might be good on a date, or even securing the next one, am I actually any good at the next bit? Am I any good at actually being a bf? So the time has come to change directions a little, along with a new template* and a renewed self promise to ensure that I continue to live a life "realised", so the time has come for me explore a little more of the"next bit", to write a little bit less about revisits and instead spend some time examining the care-taking for my tomorrow.

Why?

Simple: I have met someone.

* Always a sign of renewed inspiration to Blog at Chez-Indy.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Entangled Confidence

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Blog Direction, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 6 comment(s)