Sometimes not everything that comes out of my mouth is simply hot air and a need to rant...

"Courage comes not from doing the things you do well, but attempting the things at which you regularly fail"
- Advice to a friend.

"I would rather be an object of longing than one of regret."
- Comment to another friend.

---

Reading Mike's post today about the "Eye of Sauron" I have to admit to a similar "paranoia" when my site stats show a regular lurker from Singapore Press Holdings (SPH) Makes me wonder if I am unwittingly providing inspiration, derision or just enhancing general office humour for all those in the print media game?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Tinkering

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Musings, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 16 comment(s)

<RANT>

I fucking hate the term "going local".

My problem with this term is that at best it is a defensively slapped label designed to brand the guy as someone less worthy of attention, it is used to classify a guy as someone you would not date, as beneath you, or rather labeled a less-desirable prospect. It is a defensive slap delivered to assuage the hurt of rejection from a guy who has chosen not you, but rather someone else from the demographically available mass.

And at worst, it reeks of insecurity, jealousy and, let's call it what it is, racism.

And hiding it beneath the veneer of "she is beneath him" or "he could do so much better than her" is not demonstrating your depth of friendship, even if it is true, rather it is demonstrating the jealous reaction of someone still unattached who cannot or does not accept the reason he is not dating you is a simple, "he's not that into you", instead for whatever deep or even shallow reason he is into her.

I have to wonder at all these "white women" who lament the "going local" of their guy friends; would you feel the same way if he was dating a white expatriate, would you feel the same jealousy? Would you feel the same if I was an expat in US dating a American, or when I lived in the Bahamas and dated a "Conchy-Joe", was that "going local"? Or would you be encouraging and supportive of his new found happiness?

Regardless of your answer what does this say about the friendship? Or more importantly about you?

</RANT>

Besides a guy does not "go local" he "demographically dates". ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: How Would I Do It?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Rant

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 17 comment(s)

About a year ago I wrote of my thoughts on the whole Parallel vs. Serial Style of dating. At the time I was firmly in the camp of the Parallel daters, but after a years experience I am not so sure. So while I accept that seeing more that one person at a time can be "time effective" and for many is the perfect way to date, I have learnt that personally I like the focus that comes with a more serial approach in getting to know someone.

However...

The problem with the "serial" method of dating is that there can be a lot of down time...a lot of waiting or rather non-dating and therefore time that is not productively used in as far as the goal. You have the emotional up and down of not knowing if someone you like, likes you in return, of trying to "read" signals and whether an sms saying "thank you for dinner, I enjoyed it too" is just being polite or is an invitation to "chase" the lady. There is a lot of "nothing" time where progress is measured in instances so small they fail to register.

Yet...

The upside of "serial" is that you are focussed on one person, you are getting to know one person without the cloud of comparison, and you get to avoid the issue of trying to recall the who/what/why and where of anyone other than one person... you compare the person against the things you are looking for, not against the person you saw last night, or the night before that...

...which is why it just works better. You end up continuing to see a person who is right for you, and not one who is just the best out of a small selection...and that has to be a the better course of action.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Round Tuit

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating Styles, Musings, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 9 comment(s)

A great second date is playing some "pool" (or snooker) at a nice bar, some relaxed drinks and a little competition. The idea is to up the stakes and make a bet on the outcome of the game...

...and then lose.

The bet: That the loser has to cook the winner dinner on the following Friday/Saturday.

You want to lose because it gives you a chance to get her into your "lair" and show her that you can cook, since it is a well known fact that women love a man who can.

NOTE: If you make it too obvious that you are throwing the game, she will lose all respect for you, if in doubt, win. And accept the dinner at her place...then when you’re complimenting her on her cooking during the meal, offer to return the favour, and cook for her. (that way you get a fourth date)

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Dating Tome

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Women, A Plan

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:01 12 comment(s)

From Lakota...

Rules:
1. Go to Wikipedia - The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. Click Random Quotes The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. Visit Flickr- The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

My first reaction when I did this was...it has to be rigged, actually it was "No Fucking Way!!!"...then I started to look over my shoulder for hidden cameras. ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed:

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Fun, Diversion

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

"Do men EVER refuse sex and why?"
- Titania

All the time...and the reasons are as varied as you can imagine...but after a quick "Blokes at the Pub" survey and a healthy injection of my own 2 cents here are the top 5 reasons.

1. Being Attached: I have a gf and she means more to me than a rumble in the sack with you. Instead of being upset or feeling rejected, maybe you should be thankful that there really are guys who believe in monogamy, don't take it as rejection see it instead as a good thing.

2. No Sexual Interest: I am simply not that into you...you are, to be blunt, doing absolutely nothing to raise my blood pressure or stir my pants. Maybe if you were the last woman on earth...maybe! But even then don't get your hopes up.

3. Poor Timing: I am too bloody tired/drunk/sick/injured and the last thing on my mind is playing "Hide the Sausage with you...take heart this is a temporary thing and normal servicing will most likely resume in the early morning.

4. Been There Done That: We have been there, and you are, quite frankly, not really that good enough for us to be bothered going through the motions for an end result that amounts basically to assisted masturbation. Ergo: in my limited experience, the story of your sexual ability is a tale of two words: you suck.

5. I Like You: Once upon a time I was like a greyhound pup in a field full of rabbits, I would chase after one pretty thing until another distracted me and panting I would chase after it and so on, all for the chance to explore what amounted to maybe 10mins of grappling. ~grin~ After I left my sexual-larval stages I became more discerning seeking quality over quantity, and now that maturity has decided to make me its next victim, I might refuse sex with you simply because I really like you.

True, I might not like you enough to have sex with you, but I also might not even know if I like you enough to have sex with you...YET. But I do know I like you and your friendship is important enough for me to over-ride my testosterone fueled basic desire to bend you over my kitchen counter and hammer you senseless until you or I pass out (which ever comes first).

Since I am no longer content with frantic grapplings and am trying to honour a self promise, maybe I really do want to get to know you fully rather than just sexually, so take heart, this means I hold you in the highest regard and have nothing but respect for you.

This is not as common as you may think.

Of course next week I may think something entirely different as soon as I catch sight of you in that new mini skirt and heels combo...in which case I will be praying that I 'let you down" easily and that I paid off my credit card so I can afford to get you totally drunk and into a position advantageous to me. ~wink~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Nothing

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Men, Sex, A Headache, Blokes At The Pub

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 18 comment(s)

The Iron Pugilist made a comment on this post where he said:

"Don't you just hate those back-stabbing friends she has, though?"

My first reaction was "No" but there are some rules to remember when it comes to her friends...

1. They are HER friends, not yours: They may be friendly towards you, they may treat you with respect, they may even in time come to feel a brotherly type of love for you but never forget for a single second they are HER friends, the person they care most about in the relationship is her, not you.

2. They care about her more than they do about you: this means that they are here for her, not you. They will know the good things you do, the romantic, loving and tender gestures, but they will also know about the drunken snoring, the pigheadedness and foul temper. In short they will know everything, and they exist to protect "her back", not yours. Never cry foul to her friends, no matter how friendly they are to you, and never fall for the lie 'I am here for you if you need an ear, I am your friend too"...refer to (1)

3. They want her to be happy: More than anything, they love to see her smiling, happy and in love...if you are the catalyst for this, her friends will be your greatest allies ever...but make her sad and they will question you. Make her sad too often and they will turn on you. But conversely make her happy the majority of the time and they will be your allies in weathering the small storms...unasked and with help unsolicited they will support you if they think you are good for her.

4. They need to know you respect her: Basically this means "keep thy dick away from other women", listen to her, value her inputs and opinions, and treat her as you know she deserves to be treated. Show her friends that you respect her, and they in turn will respect you and the relationship you have with her.

5. They are scared: They do not want to lose her. They fear the loss of time spent together and even the loss of communication as she shares her daily struggles with you instead of them. If you want to keep them onside you have to encourage her to spend time with them, time both with you (they need to see you with her to see you treating her right) and time without you, so they can sit around drinking, dancing, catching up, and talking about you. Yes, this will also include perving at any cute guys, but you have nothing to fear from this if you remember (2-4) and have not fucked up.

Truly her friends can be the greatest allies you have in your relationship with her, but you don't recruit them, you can't offer them incentives to be in your camp, they either are or they aren't...and that is decided by how well you treat her and how good they think you are for her.

But remember, they are HER friends, not yours. They don't "back-stab" you, they protect her...and besides, if you really cared for her, those are the types of people you should want her to call her friends, and would hope she keeps close to her.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: An Old Map

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Friends, Relationships, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 17 comment(s)

I wrote this a long time ago, in another place, but given the turns my life has taken in the last month, I think I need to take it out, dust it off, and remind myself of the wisdom below...

Reading SPG this morning I noted that she listed a few things a boyfriend is supposed to do, namely listening intently, and being one who learnt this lesson many moons ago, it got me wondering about what else do I know about the desires of women, when it come to a potential man…

I have on occasion stepped out onto the limb to state what I think men want from their partners but have never ventured so far out on the said branch to list what 30+ something years has taught me (if anything) about what women want. So at the risk of showing myself to be completely ignorant, and alienating all my female readership, here goes.

NOTE: Ladies if my assumptions and half-baked notions are so wrong they are laughable please correct me.

So gentlemen, here is the Indiana’s non-definitive guide to keeping your gf happy...

Wooing/The Chase/The Hunt/The Game

This must never stop. EVER! All women are princesses at heart, they long for a knight (her knight) to ride up and rescue them. Yes, even the corporate power lunching ones that earn 5 times you do, want you to rescue them…not once but over and over again. This means, be romantic, you don’t have to have piles of cash to be romantic…but you have to treat her like she is the centre of your universe. Again never stop chasing.

HINT: If you only woo her when you want to play hide the sausage, then she will know you are only doing it to get into her pants, do it because you want to cuddle, do it because she likes it, do it because if you love her and how could you not. Do it because you want to get into, and stay in, her heart.

Listen to her

I mean really listen. Not the “uhhh-huh” and “mmmm” of bored participation but really listen, empathise never sympathise, unless she is in pain…then make sure you hold her (Knight. Shining Armour. Protection). I really can’t stress this; it’s not like listening to your mates in the pub where you all talk over each other. I mean really listen. Having trouble, most important clue is: shut up. She does not want you to solve her problems, and the ones she does she will ask for your help, or you will just know that it needs to be solved. But please shut-up, and just listen, turn-off the TV, the Rugby World Cup final is not that important* (your not playing in it are you?) and she is that important. Look her in the eyes, and again shut-up. If you must talk, ask questions, do not to solve anything, but just to let her talk more about it.

Talk with them

Don’t talk to her, talk WITH her. Let her in on your dreams, and make sure she knows that they are flexible enough to include her. Let her know that being included in hers is something you want.

Sex

Here it is: most women want to have sex as much as you do. But, they need to feel that you want more than just their bodies, you have to want them. (Sometimes wanting just their body is ok too) But most women have to have that higher connection, they have to feel desired, valued and chased. If you want her that night, start wooing at 6 AM. Again, NEVER STOP.

Fidelity

If I have to mention this then you really have no clue. Yes it is normal to take a glance at the beautiful woman in the short skirt, but only glance, ONCE! Touching is not allowed, period. Most women expect you to take a glance; they know you’re a man; they allow you this…but very quickly (not neck cracking speed) return your gaze to her and admire her…after all she is with you.
To put it simply if you tell her you love her, then all other women are off limits. (You have the right to expect the same in return)

Give her room

Give her space to see her friends, contrary to popular opinion you can’t be everything to her, she still needs her friends (just as you need yours), added to which her friends will like you more because they haven’t lost her to you. Give her room to grow, support her dreams, and allow her the time she needs to be who she is.

Shopping

Most men hate this activity. I suggest you take her lingerie shopping with your credit card, the monthly bill will be worth it, the sex that night will be worth it, and you will never ever hate shopping with her again.

* Okay, this is really bullshit, the RWC is important, on the life-scale of important things it's slightly more important than Global Warming ~grin~, but not really more important than her.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed:

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 14 comment(s)

I guess a big question for me, is simply, what would you give up for "true love*"?

If such even exists, or you were to actually recognise it were it on offer, what would you do for it? And I don't mean the romantic and yet pithy reply "anything!"...but rather what would you really give up? What is a loving forever worth to you?

Is it immeasurable? Is it worth: your pets, your friends, a house, your country, or even perhaps a marriage?

At what price would you "buy" or even trade for "true love"?

* Yes, I have been watching The Princess Bride ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Quipo

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Pondering, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 14 comment(s)

So it's rude, obnoxious, ungentlemanly, lacking in Chivalry and of course a Deal Breaker ensuring that any follow up calls and messages are ignored and/or immediately deleted.

And so it should be.

But I didn't do it.

She did.

And while some of you are now smiling, thinking it not as rude as you did yesterday, but instead find it now mildly amusing, I have to wonder at the irony of her indignation when she had the temerity to call me a "playa" for not calling to see her again and just how far the mirth some of you are now feeling goes to explain the prejudices that plague the gender divide?

As I have oft said, a woman is more likely to find a man to sweep her off her feet when her mannerisms, character and quality are such that she deserves to be, if as a lady you demand a gentleman, do you truly expect it to be any different that the gentleman also demand's a lady?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Denial, Wants & Being Shallow

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Women

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 13 comment(s)

And I am not talking the current facebook fad of poking everything that moves*, I am talking about physically poking, and not in a naked "take me baby" kind of way.

You are on a date with a guy, it may be a first date, it may be the third of even fourth date, but for whatever reason, you may simply be retaining water, you may have skipped the gym as a result of injury, lethargy or even induced drunken coma, but for whatever reason you have reached for those clothes** but are still looking forward to the date and even feeling a bit hopeful. It goes well, conversation flows well, there is even the not so subtle hint of mutual attraction and chemistry in the air. Then, admittedly while smiling, the guy pokes your...erm...water(fat), his smile transforms into a grin..and feeling slightly mortified you laugh along, so he pokes it again, all the while you are inwardly cringing.

So IF I did this on a date with you...let me guess: deal breaker?

* And if it doesn't move, push it. ~grin~
** Yes, those ones...the ones designed to hide as much as flatter, to camoflage the curves that are a little more curved than you may desire...or even aspire to have.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Why Is It So?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Women

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 12 comment(s)

"He who hesitates, shouldn't have!"
- Laurie Daly

Women want a man who when she needs him to step up, to be there for her, to "rescue" her, does not hesitate but rather launches into her fray and helps her safely to the other side...

Men want a woman, who when he looks at her with eyes that question, "chose me each day over the rest", likewise, does not hesitate.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: In The A Division

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

Once upon a time...

She stayed the night. And nothing really did happen.

I remembering pondering the meaning of it in the warming cold light of dawn, with just a mug of coffee for companionship, she had disappeared with a smile and quick kiss and a "yes, I want to see you again" while accompanied on the walk to her car...

What the fuck did I just do? How did I just turn her down? Jebus, that arse! Am I fucking crazy? Is she going to see something admirable in the restraint or rather something too "nice"? Can her ego handle being just held and kissed? She teased that she wouldn't have stayed if I had said yes to her question? Was that pride? Am I fucking crazy? Where did that restraint fucking come from and can I get a refund? Then why did she tell me two hours of kissing later that she wanted to stay in my arms? She did say that no guy had ever turned her down once it had move to the bed? Damn, that little moan when I kissed her neck! Was it arrogance that then cementedthe "not this time"? Am I fucking crazy? Did this make me a "better man" or a schmuck? She is desirable, intelligent, and a great kisser! Did I just show her something different, or did I just offend her with refusal? Am I fucking crazy?

Did I just do the smartest thing in my life or the dumbest?

And as I thought then, and still believe, the most important thing is this, it didn't matter if she decided to rescind her agreeing to see me again, and/or thought me a fool (or much worse), I had made the right decision for the type of man I wanted to be, and if she wanted to see me again then she would say "yes", if not, then her loss.

Sometimes in life no matter how much you desire to do the right thing, no matter what choices you are faced with, the only person you can seek to please is yourself.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Green Fear

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Sex, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 7 comment(s)

"...Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay..."
- The Road Less Traveled
Robert Frost

This poem is often quoted (or is that mis-quoted) by people, and frankly it irks me. For years it has offered the idea that "the road less traveled" has made all the difference in someone's life...and yet they ignore the whole poem...in which "both that morning equally lay" and in which he "then took the other, as just as fair" and had "for the passing there, Had worn them really about the same."

Ergo: they are both the same, either path would have simply led in a different direction and to a different life, and that alone would have made all the difference, but both choices were equally valid and there was nothing to separate them save maybe the whim of choice.

There is no "road less taken" there is simply the road, choices and life...and for it to make "all the difference" all you have to do is live the choice you make, all you have to do is follow your heart and enjoy the chasing of your dreams, this does not make your path any different than anyone else's.

"...your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's."
-Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Just Another Mummy

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Thinking, Choices

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 12 comment(s)

Written a long time ago...

I have a friend...

Years ago his wife had an affair. After a pretty horrible skiing accident, he was left with a shattered hip, and some pretty nasty leg breaks that required pins, screws, plates and lots of physical therapy...for about 9 months between pain killers and restrictive casts he could not perform to a level that his wife had grown used to, and to be honest so had he. About 4 months into his recovery she started an affair with a guy she worked with, he suspected, but she denied, and he wanted to trust her. He had married this woman and she was everything to him...and she had never lied. And so he believed.

Of course in time, wracked with guilt or some such now destroyed notion of respect she admitted to it, she admitted her lies and her infidelity.

...

They are still together today. From the outside the picture of loving couple, they maintain a balance between couple and self and seem to have it all.

Not a week goes by when he does not what wonder what has she lied about this week, who has she been seeing, and asks himself "can I truly trust her?"...his answer is always the same...

"Yes I can, I think, but..."

The "but" for him rings in a world of doubt, of questions, of disbelief, he questions his manhood, his judgment, his folly...he wonders at his foolishness, and he talks about the gut wrenching sinking feel of stomach sickness, when he looks now on everything she ever said to him not with wide-eyed wonder and love, but sometimes, not always, through a filter of questions. He tells me he sometimes internally cringes whenever after a change in job she mentioned a new male colleague, and that for years he wondered "Who else?"

He knows such self-destructive thoughts are wasted, just as in his heart he knows she never lied before, and she hasn't lied since...but still he has the unease of doubt.

...

In a quiet moment one evening over the required number of beers, I asked him why? Why he stayed? Why he couldn't trust her? So why?

His answer,

I stay because the one person in the world I can trust is myself...I thought I could trust her as well, but I can't and I will never trust her fully again, close too but never in the same way I did, maybe one day, but even after 5 years not yet...but I can trust me? And I trust that I am totally in love with my wife. That she is totally in love with me, I don't know? But I trust in my heart, and in my feelings and to myself I want always to remain true, and in that I know with absolute conviction that quite simply, I love her.

Personally, I don't know if that is the most loving thing I have ever heard a man say, or the dumbest?

More so, when my response "Then why can't you forgive her?", went unanswered.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Nice Guy Liars

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Trust, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 18 comment(s)

"...a cute girl, an adventure and a signature drink..."

Of the three, the drink has proven more reliable, less damaging and far easier to explain to my parents, friends and my insurance company*.

But a signature drink is not something to be chosen in a hasty thirst inspired moment, it cannot be the product of peer intervention or even coercion, and most of all it must fit the moment, the man, and the message...

...it must be everything you wish the moment and yourself to both be and be seen to be.

Truthfully more care is often taken with the settling of a signature drink than is often taken on deciding the lady to share such with**.

It can vary bar to bar, group of friends to group of friends, it is highly dependent on geography, the feeling, the meal, and most importantly, the moment...thus while a Classic Dry Martini may indeed be a drink of impeccable taste and quality it really is not appropriate as the signature drink while sitting on the North Stands during the Hong Kong Rugby 7's...

...but then again...pre-mixed in a camel-pack, while dressed in a tuxedo doing your best James Bond might just work...well at least as far the desired result in such a venue demands. ie: Drunken Shenanigans.

But a signature drink is also about taste...its adhering to the idea that "just not any port" is good enough...even in a storm. It's about stepping above the swill and swirling hubris of humanity and exhibiting a class, a certain debonair Cary Grant quality that has sadly become lacking in the world...it's about being true to the idea of "cocktail hour", its about Chivalry, honour and treating a woman like a lady and not a piece of sports equipment. Quite simply the signature drink is about having class...

...and class transcends the fiscal, it eclipses the school, the degree and even the blood of birth. Class is about who you are, who you want to be and who you want to be remembered for being. Class, like character, is who you are when no-one is looking...class is quite simply, you.

So what's your signature drink?

* Though this is getting harder...which begs the question, what happened to trust?
** Which might explain why great women date ass-holes and go someway to explaining all the problems in the world...but then it could also simply mean that the Blokes at the Pub spend far too much time drinking and not enough time getting laid.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Economics Of The Pussy

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Drinking, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 7 comment(s)

Her parting shot was a snapped, "Now you can go pick up the girl you want!"

I was being defensive, somewhat rationally cold and removed, but since she had just told me we had no future, I felt just a little justified in my stance, so my first thought to her gibe was: good fucking idea...

...

...I was meeting the journalist from a few weeks ago for an article follow up* and decided since the key to our meeting was "flirting" why not see how good I really am? Practical application being important in the rich fabric of well lived life. ~grin~

A button down shirt dress, cinched tight at the waist to show the curves and a pair of 4" sling backs. It did not scream "look at me", it was not totally glam, somewhere on the upside of the middle and yet oozing class...but maybe it was the smile, that lit up her face, or rather the crinkle of knowing and flirtatious mirth reflected by the glint in her likewise smiling eyes that projected everything she wanted to say without her saying a single thing.

I remember thinking "Ohhh shit I am so out of my depth here",

...and then I dived in anyway. ~wink~

* Ok, its called denial, its a river in Egypt, and I have intimate knowledge of its curves, currents and submerged hazards.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Dating Styles

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

Is it an art or a craft...a learned skill that comes with time and effort...or rather is it just the steady stream of recorded actions and thought? Does it begin with the pen and an idea? Or the slight crack as a spine is set into the open position and the ssshhhh as a page is creased for the words to begin?

A recent beach side respite led me to the conclusion, that my personality is such that the lack or precision in a journal is something that does not sit comfortably with me. Rather the polished presentation of cultivated edited and drafted words are more my style...

..which is a pity. Since there is something rather endearing about a book of scribbled thoughts, lost quotes, torn pages, spilled wine and stained with the perspiration of thought and sun kissed travels.

mmm...maybe its time to stop trying to be so precise and just embrace a little more "lived in" as my mantra and the resultant goal from another years reflection.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Why Is It So?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dead Tree Blog, Musings

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 9 comment(s)

Her smell lingers...perfume dancing at the edges of my memory and the taste of her on my lips, her body bent into mine as hands stroke random patterns and mouths quest in the closeness of supplication.

Some memories linger, while others need the refreshment of sensory stimulation to bring a faraway look to a face and a smile to lips...

...meanwhile her scent pauses on the edges of my memories, seemingly hesitant, yet teasingly still clinging to the places in my space that she chose to touch.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Family @ A Distance

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Smell

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 6 comment(s)

"Even a broken clock is correct twice a day"

Insightfully deep philosophical comment that has far reaching social perception and application beyond the time piece allegory, or a simple verbal wank?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Dusty Empty Halls

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Musing, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 4 comment(s)

What did you do in 2007 that you hadn't done before?
Spent all night with a beautiful, desirable and very naked woman, who I both wanted to touch and with whom nothing had yet happened, and realising that "not touching...now" was the wiser path...the new experience was actually taking that wiser path.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

Did anyone close to you die?
Tragically only a few weeks after exchanging vows the wife of one of my best friends was killed in a car accident.

Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory?
Laying on a beach somewhere in SEA and having the most difficult decision in deciding whether it was "beer o'clock" or it was time for a massage...then realising that even the contemplation of such meant that all-in-all I have a pretty good life. (In the end I opted for both ~grin~)

Best thing you bought?
Actually I bought myself nothing last year, sure I bought food, some clothes and the odd DVD (or ten) but nothing really stands out as the purchase to end all purchases. mmm...maybe in this new year I should be more selfish with my spending.

Where did most of your money go?
Dating...enjoying good food, good wine and great company.

What do you wish you had done more of?
Enjoying the moment.

What do you wish you had done less of?
Worrying about the implications, outcomes and reasons.

What kept you sane?
This blog, and the mind-dribbling of a few of my friends.

What drove you mad?
Women.

What made you celebrate?
Friendships...but again it was a rather bleh year, not depressing, not joyous rather just a gentle wave of blandness.

What made you sad?
Realising that some people weren't the people I thought they were...and then feeling guilty as I was more concerned about what this said about my ability to judge character rather than I was about the resulting change/loss of friendship.

How was your birthday this year?
Just another day...I really think it has been so long since they were something celebrated that they are just another fold of the calendar from one day to the next, the importance of such has long been lost.

What political issue stirred you the most this year?
The continued denial by some governments that global warming is real and our contribution to its rapid acceleration is and will continue to impact on our lives and the lives of those who come after us.

Where you in love in 2007?
In the first months...definitely. Later in the year I flirted with the idea a few times, but teasingly the feeling alluded me.

What would you like to have in 2008 that you didn't have this year?
Someone to believe in, someone to rely on, and someone who makes my bed a little warmer place.

What date from 2007 will be etched in your memory and why?
A bland year without a highlight significant to trigger a memory, without a single event worthy of recall.

What song will remind you of 2007?
While certain songs may have echoed throughout the year, and some momentarily stood out and sung to my heart for a time, none stood the test of time, or maybe the changes in life to continue to resonate.

Compared to this time last year are you happier?
mmm...difficult...to measure a feeling...

no, but I think I am a little more at peace with some of the things going on around me, and there is more hope on the horizon and I can see the following months holding less sleepless nights than a year ago.

Biggest achievement this year?
getting to the end of it intact...physically but more importantly while retaining the desire and drive to be the person and I want to be, and to be better than the rest.

Biggest disappointment this year?
Breaking the heart of someone who remains dear to me.

What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?
More morning blowjobs ~wink~

Best new person you met this year?
mmm...there is no single person, so many offered the hope of something to be cherished and only a few delivered on the honest offer of friendship, without agenda or desiring me to be someone other than who I am. But I did make some new friendships that have continued to grow and hopefully have and will become stronger.

A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?
That most people do the things they do without thought to consequence or without recourse to actual thought...they take the "because I feel like it" approach to life choices rather than the "this will be good for me" school of thought.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Looking Back On Before

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Reflection, Wisdom, 2007

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 8 comment(s)