"I see the boy I knew in the man before me"
- The Bishop, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves

A 2 Corona realisation*,

"She is the person that my ex will grow to be."

Let the girl fill a little towards womanhood, soften a few of the sharp edges of youthful skinny ideal, allow the years to add lines that show not so much cares but laughter that mark a person as having lived, let experience give an extra measure of confidence and a surety of both tongue and action, and let unsure steps now tread with knowing...and one would become the other...

mmm...maybe life is finally letting me see a pattern where before there was none that I could discern...or maybe no matter how I have denied it, I actually have a type? Or rather, since I know that I do, maybe I am finally able to see it more clearly.

I know everyone does have a type, (deluded self included), and for a time certain elements of mine have crept, or rather thundered into my conscious thought and made themselves known to me...but the realisation that the characteristics I look for, or rather am attracted to may not be what I had believed, is, while not confronting, at the very least a surprise.

And yet...at the same time it's not.

Since I guess in the heart of every moment there is truth if one is merely willing to either look for or rather at it, and accept that it is as much a part of you as your right or left arm in case you are missing one or the other...the truth I think for all things is such, if one just has enough honest appraisal to both see and accept it...that we do live patterns, that life is a series of repeats and circles...and while we hope they are at least spiraled and moving us either from something or towards something, the truth is that sometimes they are just endless loops with no progress but at least no step back either.

And while I ponder what life has just revealed to me about myself...I still could see the reflection of a person from my yesterday in the person I hope may chose to be in my tomorrow...and maybe thats not such a bad thing.

* Anecdotal proof that drinking does in fact make you smarter.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A New Backpack

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Cycles, Patterns,Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 8 comment(s)

Enjoy my second cappuccino while sitting in an East Coast Cafe as the day slowly seeped from afternoon to night, I had an instant thought, that was quickly examined, turned, prodded, examined again and then finally revised...

...the women of this city are hot!

And then with further thought and revision*, rather, all women are hot...or rather have at least one thing that is simply incredibly attractive about them, and that makes them individually simply desirable.

All women...without exception.

This revelation of course lasted as long as the coffee buzz, was quickly filed under "pseudo-intellectual thinking" deep within my cortex, and forgotten about...as all good thoughts are. Only this one resurfaced a week or so ago when I was waiting for Isabella to join me so we could share her and my latest misadventures in the world of dating, relationships and sex**. Seated as we were near the entrance of a downtown bar there was ample opportunity between moments of illumination to study those who both entered and departed, the coming and going forms could be appraised and with not always silent appreciation. And it somewhere towards the bottom of my second beer, the thought didn't just reappear it leapt back into conscious thought,

Beautiful women are everywhere.

I mean it. They really are. All you have to do is open your eyes to the myriad of possibilities and remain open minded long enough to really see...

Beautiful women are everywhere...and every woman has in her beauty.

But I have to wonder how in a non-chemical enhanced or depressed state do we fight past years of societal fueled prejudice and media feed ideals of desirability? Or has the media just tapped the evolution of our own desires to squeeze us for another dollar? Is the simple truth that the clarity of idea and thought lies truly within the saying "In Vino Veritas"?

In todays synapse bombarded world is clear vision capable or even possible without some form of filter?

* The type that can only be achieved while on a caffeine high from a second or third espresso.
** Ok, this makes the conversation sound quite intellectual and deep...what really happened is that she ordered a red wine while I had another beer and we discussed our favourite sexual positions and the interwoven concept of pain with sexual pleasure. (But while a great conversation, does not really fit the topic of this rambling parchment)

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Allure Of Alone

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Observations

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 10 comment(s)

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."
1 Corinthians 13:11, NIV

But did I? Does any of us?

In a world that drives us to 'grow up" to "act our age" and to "be mature", have we lost that yearning innocence of youth? Has the desire to know the whys vanished or rather been buried as a "way of childhood"...is it a good thing that we do this, that we see with eyes more shaded with age and tempered with a little wisdom...or should the innocent dreams of youth be something that we cling to, that we hold to as a vestige of a less life-worn time?

Does there come a time to put "childhood behind" or is it something that in the face of being told to "grow up" that we should cling to with a stubborn determination?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Wanting Someone To Fail

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Growing Up, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 10 comment(s)

While I would not normally shy from being lumped in the company of the lovely Steph, having this post pointed out to me by the said lovely* was a huge WTF moment.

Apparently I have the TX Code** and worse you can only see it by "right clicking" on my page and pasting it into a search engine algorithm but it gets better apparently I also have copied some mystery Celeb's*** blog...thats right I am actually cloning someone else's page, and this is because I have "digital reads" as the heading where blogrolling lists the regular haunts of those who I do not know in the flesh.

Seriously...some people should not be allowed on the internet or maybe for that matter, to even breed.

NOTE: If anyone can find where this celeb's blog I cloned is located I would really love to read my words repeated, or better yet before I even write them.

* Kisses to you gorgeous. ~wink~
** I mean WTF. The TX Code is a carrier error in a burst satellite transmitter...and I am not sure how I could get my blog to talk to one via Technorati and without, even if I had a snowballs chance in hell of making it work, some pretty fancy and expensively classified peripherals. But then I am good so anything might be possible. ~bigger grin~
*** Again WTF. Though if I was secretly Harrison Ford or George Clooney that might actually be cool...only pity is that its a secret.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Chasing Imagination

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Crazy Chick, L33T HAX0R

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 16 comment(s)

"A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight."
- Robertson Davies

While the mechanics of reading were probably started by my Mum, continued by some long forgotten grade teacher(s), it is from my Dad that I learned to derive pleasure from books and to love the words others strung together in ways that fired my imagination and fueled my dreams. It is from my Dad that I do not make the snobbish distinction between books and literature, but rather enjoy what is written and find wisdom where it can be found, it is from him that a Saturday morning spent curled up with the captured imagination of another is not seen as idle or wasted, but rather simply time well spent. And it is likewise from him that a library or a bookstore is a special place one in which time has no meaning and all avenues can be explored and enjoyed.

I think for me the book that started it all was "There and back again" or as it was more popularly published, The Hobbit...for me it was one of those concise adventures, an adventure where the mundane safe existence is suddenly replaced with a wild and dangerous one and only one's wits and ability to think can get you through...it opened up a world worded by the likes of Howard, deCamp, Leiber, Donaldson and later Fleming, Gash and a slew of others who apart from only fueling my appetite did one very important thing...

...they gave me a very real connection to my Dad.

Watching him, grab his book for an hours read while eating lunch after a Saturday in the garden, was both distancing and yet comforting, he would grab his book, seek some relaxation and comfort in its pages and escape from a world of flies, grass, edges, trimmers and Summer sweat into whatever genre he had chosen that week. And from this I learnt to love books...

Needless to say buying a gift for my father is both immensely easy and also extremely difficult...on one hand I need only buy a book, neatly inscribe the date, the reason and add with love followed by my name, and yet on the other hand he buys so many of the bloody things you can never be sure if he already has it, which of course somewhat lessens the pleasure of the giving since the reading is already done. But my Dad being himself, simply looks at the copy he has and if it was purchased by himself for no reason than his own pleasure, will remove it from his bookshelves, replace it with the newly gifted tome and trade the other in on one his infrequent trips to the second-hand bookshop...his other second home.

mmm...and with Christmas and the associated gift-hunt just around the corner I have to wonder if Borders has ever thought of extending its cafe attachments to include a hotel experience? A Book, a bed and some coffee...while a little too solo to be the perfect gift for me, I could see my Dad truly loving the respite...

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Round Tuit

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Reading, Truly Great Books

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

...is sitting on a bar stool, with her standing between your legs, arms around each other stealing the odd kiss, just enjoying being close as the barman serves you another cold one.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: An Empty Bottle

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Guilty Pleasure, Knowing Self

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 12 comment(s)

It's not that I am a completely "black and white" kind of guy, it's not that I think everything has its place or that everything needs a neat little label with which it is catagorised and then cross referenced...because I am not and I don't. But I do love knowing exactly where I stand with someone, I hate the not knowing, the drifting position of the unknown...and nothing drives me crazier than those first stages of dating the "does he, does she" stages in which future possibilities while desired are left hanging with neither purpose or direction. It’s all about the not knowing...and will I admit it can be a crazy wonderful kind of time, it drives me insane...since I like to know.

Which I know is a complete contradiction, the desire to know, and yet the desire to not label or shoehorn someone into a box in which they do not fit. It is a conundrum...and one that comes after the first few dates, it is an issue that is faced once the "like" starts to deserve the suffix "a lot", it comes when you start to stop recognising the flash of people deserving of a studied look and rather just see the anonymous shapes of humanity...it brings with it a stage where you don't know "exactly" what is going on...

It is the conflict between the unknown adventure, the excited dance into something new and the surety of well placed steps, pragmatically placed with a focused purpose...

I guess it’s the conflict between having a life, and truly living one.

And while I know which side of that argument I wish to live...I still hate the not knowing.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Bucket Theory - Redux

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Knowing, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 8 comment(s)

So I went on a date...

...yes, it was a first date.

She wore jeans.

...and I still want to see her again.

mmm...what does this say about me? Am I settling, or have I rather discarded, or rather shelved some of the benchmarks I may have been using to measure a dates success? Or is it really just the same thing? mmm...

...or maybe a bum that hot just simply deserves a second chance? ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Not A Lot

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 15 comment(s)

Imagine if you can...and if you are lucky enough to know what one is...imagine if orgasms were currency...traded, valued and even speculated on as a form of universal exchange.

I tossed this ~grin~ idea around with Enigma the other day and I had to wonder what value does one put on an orgasm?

Is the man's, being far more common, worth less than a woman's? Is a vaginal worth more than a clitoral? Does the location of the male deposit increase the value of it on the open market? Is internal worth more than external, and does such a commodity have more value based on the region of investment? Or for that matter does say a squirter or someone who is able to achieve multiple orgasms start the game with maybe higher investment capital?

Could we rate orgasms against each other? Or is comparing them rather moot since even when an orgasm is under achieving it still feels pretty damn good? Could you put an option on an orgasm*? Or a put? Could you have a portfolio of orgasms for your clients to invest in or to see you into retirement?

But, on a (sort of) more serious note, if you had to really exchange one on the open market...what would your orgasm be worth? What would you pay for? Or at what price woudl you sell one of yours?

* I have a feeling this might be a pretty popular investment.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Insatiable Sex

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Orgasms, Currency

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 13 comment(s)

School, Girls and You!

Now this is the type of course that would have been useful in school...

"...death, or even blindness!" ~lol~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: In The Defence Of The SPG

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Sex, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 5 comment(s)

"I love you...as a friend"*

Or,

"You are the best man I know"

Both comments are designed to make a person feel better, (in this case it was me), usually they are offered as a "let down" or rather a "gentler" when you are being dumped, or being told that you belong in the place of the first loser (ie: second). They both fail in degrees that really have to be experienced since no-one has an imagination that vivid.

The first fails, because simply it's just not that good enough.

The second fails, because it simply tells you that you are not that good enough.

And both leave you back at the beginning without a clue how you got there, and without a clue as to what you are supposed to do now, feeling a tad delicate, a tad jaded, more than a little tired, and then as a self surprise leave you feeling a bit guilty at the small relief you feel, that you feel you should not really be feeling, but that freedom from something "not perfect for you" always brings. Yet both comments ring with the pithy hollowness of further rejection. And both leave you with no choice but to take stock, to look forward, and to take heed that while there may indeed be plenty of fish in the sea, you have no idea where you put your rod and reel, and since in truth you are not interested in fish instead you take comfort that this city, like most of them is in fact full of beautiful women.

* I have been feeling the sting of relegation a little too often lately...its like my dating mojo has slipped to the dark side of the sun, and I am being forced to live in dating Coventry.**
** This is not really true, it's just me having a whinge...see I am done already ~lol~ In fact I have a date on Friday, so who knows this one might prove to be my last "first date" ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: To Snip Or Not Too Snip

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

I left the following as a comment on Sofia's Blog...(sometimes we need to stop look at our own advice and not just give it out but take a good dose of it for self)

People say that life is an uphill trudge...the slow plod of step after step, a weary climb to the top of a hill that you can see yet never reach. I tend to think of it rather as a path winding down into a darkened valley. We walk forward cautiously trying not to fall, edging our way into the twilight lit landscape...sometimes we walk assured and other times we stumble and fall, landing in a place we would not have chosen, but from which we must continue from.

Sometimes the stumbles and the new doors opened by such are not really a bad thing.

And if we are walking along in life and not really noticing how well its going, then chances are, you might just be doing something right.

Failing that, sometimes you just need to stop, get a good sleep and see how the landscape looks different in the dawn.

I should have added...

And even if the landscape is as un-changed, as hopeless and as desolately lonely as it was before you closed your eyes, at least you will have slept and that makes it a little easier to face your continued walk.

---

On a seperate note I want to welcome all the readers of the Baltimore Sun and especially Maryann James, who has been kind enough to quote me on a few ocassions :-) Sort of makes me feel like Stanford in SITC...only with some sexual preference differences.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Observations While Away

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Life

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 3 comment(s)

Some days the collision of thoughts and ideas with mixed feelings are such that the words just do not come, they trip and stumble and fail to capture the essence of what one has to say, or even what one wants to say. The clarity resulting from a structured form built from the whirling mess in the mind fails to settle into a picture and we are left grappling for meaning and reason in the mess we call our life.

...Looking ahead and at the immediate behind, I have a bad feeling that this week might be made up of more than one of these "some days".

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: An Empty Blackbook

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Thinking, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 3 comment(s)

Her: “Would you take photos of me?”
Indy: “Erm…you mean nude photos?”
Her: “Yes.”*

When a beautiful woman asks such a thing of you, it is in one breath a rush of elation and in next the pressure of justice. Doubt begins to seep into your mind, and you wonder if you can frame her in such a way, if you can find the right light, the right scene and mood in which her beauty is simply clear for all to see, that the photo’s say something about her, and with the simplest movement of your finger a moment is captured.

You also very quickly think some very carnal thoughts…

…and just as quickly recognize that she is telling you that she trusts you, completely.

It is neither my first time nor hers, and yet there is more than a little trepidation, maybe even fear, since I know I want to do justice to her, to that trust, and a little bit of the competitive man in me wants to take a series that are better than her last.

* I am not actually sure at the exact wording of the question, nor my actual disbelieving reply, but the gist of the conversation is pretty much clear, she wants me to photograph her with an eye for artistic erotica and not leg-splayed porn.

Note: After it was done, looking at the results...there were some good photos, and lots of really crap ones...which I put down to the inability of the idiot behind the camera, not the gorgeous woman in front of it.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: An IG Moment

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Woman, Photographs

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

One interesting thing I have encountered here, especially amoung many young women is a certain fluid moral attitude towards and with other people's marriages.

And while I am not going to be so sanctimonious as to suggest that I am better than this, or have never engaged this type of fluid moral thinking, (since my dalliance with a married woman is documented here in the archives), and I also admit that some of the most desirable women I know are "spoken for" and are married to other men, yet there is this certain moral fluidity in local circles and it is something that I have encountered on more than a single occasion, and it has me thinking...Is it simply cultural? Was my earlier regret somehow "wrong" or missplaced? Is the "institution" something to be respected? Was it really ever? And I guess, I am not totally sure how I feel about it...which means I do have my belief and my stance, but I wonder if it is wrong, somehow dated, or rather a moral that belongs simply in a different geography.

The prevailing thinking seems to be "it's not my marriage", "I did not promise to honor anyone" and therefore "I have no responsibility for respecting another's promise". These are used as moral justifications for being involved in what society still deems as an adulterous affair, added to which is the age old justification, "well I don't know the other guy/girl" or "I don't really like the partner", so "I am not betraying a friend" and I have to wonder...

To what extent are we responsible for the "sanctity" of someone else's marriage? Or even someone else's relationship? Is all really fair in love and war?

Note: (Added 09:30) I am not having an affair with anyone, this post is not about me, or me having "a friend", it is just a simple question: if you are single, do you have a moral responsibility to honor the marriage of another?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Starting The Day...Right?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Marriage, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 29 comment(s)

Date 18: 44 yrs old, very professional, and to be quite honest, without a doubt still a very attractive and desirable woman, also the first rich (and we are talking "obscenely" so) woman I had been on a date with.

Dinner was a well known restaurant in a very central location, an easy going affair, nice food, great ambiance, a very nice Cab-Sav and company that at the beginning was at least very pleasant until as part of the usual chit-chat that goes with a first date, when I asked a question that really has no place being asked, this bomb was dropped,

"So why are you single?"
Her very honest reply, "I'm not really...I am having an affair with this guy in Shanghai"
"Erm..what? When? How?"
"Well he lives with his Russian gf, and he and I fly in and out of foreign places to 'have fun'"
Incredulously, "You mean 'to fuck'"
At least she had the temerity to look embarrassed, "yes"
"And pray tell why the fuck you are on a date with me while you are not really available...I mean this is a total waste of my time is it not?"

To which again at least she had the sense of self to sit in embarrassed silence...I should have walked out of the restaurant right then...I should have at least been the prideful gentleman, paid the bill, bid her farewell, and walked out the door...

...but I didn't...I mean seriously you can't write a script like this, so I had to know more, I mean a plot this convoluted was worth dinner at the very least, plus it would make a hell of a story for the Blokes at the Pub. I mean only in real life could humans so completely twist the dating "game" to such a point that it gets this messy...even Hollywood can't do it this well even with 2+ hours and a special effects budget.

Lesson Learned: That there is a point in everyone's life, different for each, where age and the fear of being alone converge, where the concept of still having time simply vanishes, and at that point, beauty, intelligence and even riches do nothing to stop our hearts conspiring against what is good for us and letting us believe that the most deluded situations will work out in manner that we dream. We madly grasp for the nearest "mediocre" connection in the hope that it will somehow be exactly what we want, we trade in our desire and our dreams for the hollow "security" of the most deluded scenarios.

Oh, and money is no escape from a convoluted and twisted love life, it just ensures that you will probably not be selling the story to Jerry Springer.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: There Is No Purpose

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating

Labels: The Dog Dates

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 20 comment(s)

All men want to believe that we are the best a woman has ever had or will have for that matter. That she is either thankful she has (had) us...or wistfully even longingly recalls us when newer men are not satisfying her...or that even in the quiet moments of her after orgasm glow, her drifting mind recalls us.

Yes...men really are that arrogant, or at least wish they were, it’s the part of a man that is made up of equal parts pride and ego, cemented together with selfish jealousy, arrogant cocky bravado and the same parts disbelieving doubt.

Any guy who says he does not care if a woman thinks he is good in bed is either lying or has come to terms with his small “willy” and is choosing to simply live in denial.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Tattered Journal

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Sex, Men

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 21 comment(s)

...is having your hair washed, fingernails gently scratching your scalp, fingers massaging and you slowly slipping into the realm called zzzzzzzz.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Its All About The Place

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Guilty Pleasure, Saturday Thoughts

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 7 comment(s)

Thought for the Weekend: What does your tipple tell people about you?

Out recently with some friends a young lady joining our group a little late immediately asked the waitress for the drinks menu, which she then proceeded to scour the way some poeple I know scour stock reports. What she actually settled on I can't remember but I do recall MercerMachines comment to her and the ensuing conversation snippet,

MM: Why do women always want the drinks menu? You know whats in there, so why not just order?
Her: You mean guys don't look at the drinks menu?
MM: No, we have our 3-4 staple drinks or we just order what everyone else at the table is drinking.

Which is actually quite true, most guys might take a few miutes to look at the food menu in a bar before ordering, or may if they can't see the taps ask what is "on draft" before deciding which beer...but they knew even before they sat down that they were going to order beer.

So to what extent does what you order tell those around you something about you? Maybe to what extent does how you order it say something about you?

Lucy linked to a newspaper article that pointed to the qualities of a girl who likes to drink beer, and after reading her post and the article I had to wonder: Does the beer a woman drinks make a difference to how we (ie: men) view her? Or are we just to busy feeling stoked when she offers to get the refills? Does the size of the glass affect our perception as much as what goes into the container? Does a Boags girl rate more highly that a VB chick, and/or is a Corona swiller just marking time until you buy her a drink with more fruit hanging off the glass? Does a girl going schooner* for schooner with the boys really look that "attractive", or does the "girl next door" and "down to earth" quality get lost, whereas from a bottle, especially an imported brand, the same message is conveyed but with an added little refinement, dare I say class, that sends a message of exclusivity and rarity rather than a more common announcement? And while I am not suggesting that those "ladies" at the pub chugging pints with the lads are anything less than wonderful women, ask any guy, we have the perception that the rarity reflects the more valuable catch.

Now any guy who does not acknowledge there is something a little erotic about a woman wrapping her lips around the neck of a bottle is lying...pure and simple. And while I hope its not the fetish of anybody I know...its still a little bit of an erotic flash, at least the first time she does it. But does the type of beer she drink, and even the container it comes in, send a message to the guys around her...do we even care? Or are we just happy to have some "gentler" company while engaging in an activity that we happen to love?

But back to the thought for the week and thinking not just about beer: since we all know there is a non-spoken judgment that is carried out as you order a drink in a bar...we all transfer the characteristics of the drink to the drinker, and never even pause to think that they may simply like the taste, I have to wonder,

...so what does your tipple say about you?

* Schooner: common serving measure of beer in NSW(Australia), otherwise roughly translated to Pot, Pint, Mug or even in some parts of Alabama as a plain old Jar.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Monogamy - Sowing Your Wild Oats

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Drinking, Women

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 23 comment(s)

I was at this place, you know they type, they serve coffee, sometimes its good, sometimes its bad, and sometimes you just need somewhere to recharge the batteries and give you a quite place to think and dead tree blog.

This place has the usual crowd, the disaffected, those avant-cool types, the latte set, and "normal" people just out for a bit of sun, the papers and a caffeine hit, and of course those so connected that they have to bring their computer with them...you know the type; those who can mouse, click and type with one hand, while they sip their mocha with the other.

So in this place I take my seat, I can see the screen of the girl sitting vaguely next to me, but I ignore it as my DTB calls and I am about to sully its virginity with my scrawl. I looked around the area as one often does in those situations, stared at the blank page, took a sip of the beverage just delivered to my table, and look around again...

...she is reading blogs.

FUCK! She is reading MY BLOG.

So after I wiped the coffee up I had snorted (very suave I know, and a great way to get her attention) my curiosity piqued and I had to look up...

...mmm...cute.

Not stunningly cute as in I want to meet her...but cute, in that next-door type of way...the type of cute I should go for, that I know I should go for, but the type of cute that for come reason I usually ignore.

She is going through my archives...maybe a little to intensely for my liking...but still flattering in an ego stroking paranoid inducing kind of way.

Does she know me? is my immediate response...as flight response is suppressed in favour of an aloof cool disdain.

Because I am pretty sure I would remember her, unless her name was Michelle* then I might not. Noting the absence of sugar on my table, I catch her eye as I hatch a plan, which while not brilliant will yet still serve its purpose, and ask to borrow hers...

...she smiles, that absent smile of the distracted, that flicks across a visage when one is politely approached, hands it to me, "ta" I offer and our eyes hold contact for a few seconds...no longer than necessary, but long enough for me to realise, as her eyes flick back to stay on her screen...

...that she does not know me. ~phew~

So if that was you, at that place some weeks back, reading this blog, when that guy writing in the journal next to you asked for the sugar, you have met me...and wasn't it the let down you always imagined it would be. ~grin~

Chatting with a friend about it the other day, her immediate response is why didn't you introduce yourself? And I really did not have an answer...

But I do now: I did not because I was actually embarrassed, I guess I choose who crosses from online to offline with some care, and a random meeting by being recognised is probably not something I am eager to embrace or make part of my everyday fabric. I guess I value the anonymity and know that with meeting, too often the online result is lost readership, and the transition of valued comments and dialog to an offline venue as well.

Added to which I was enjoying the solitude that goes with that first cup of weekend coffee, the aroma, the taste, and just my developing thoughts as pen paused above paper...but perhaps more importantly I had gotten there early and was waiting for the Fairy Queen to arrive so I could enjoy the pleasure of her company...and then a second cup of coffee.

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* I read in a book somewhere that in the cosmic scheme of the universe, anyone named Michelle has a higher likelihood of being someone who you will not remember and whom will not make an impact either in your life or in anyone else's.

NOTE: I never said it was a good book.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Wisdom of the Father - I

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Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 13 comment(s)