There is always something satisfying when you push out the last rep and know you are done for the day, existing for a brief time behind the protection of my i-Pod, lost in my own world and knowing all that remains is a quick walk home and then a shower. Its endorphin fueled relief and a sense of temporary accomplishment. So I was a bit surprised and I would have sworn on a stack of bibles the height of a small woman that I saw this on my way out.

And if I read between the lines, this seems to confirm it...

Damn, bloggers really are everywhere! Which really got me wondering* have you ever stopped to wonder if the people you meet in day to day life are like us, and using their interactions and conversations as fodder for their writing outlets? On occasion I have, so is it too far a stretch of belief to think others have done the same, are there stories about me online that exist as a record of my actions of which I have no account, recourse or even knowledge**?

And when I also consider that it was less than a week ago that turning in the tight confines of a crowded St. Patrick's Day Irish Pub saw me come face to face with another blogger I also know, I can't help but cast me eye around a crowded Ice Cold Beer and wonder who here has a Blog? So I wonder does this make me more reticent to meet people through my Blog, as I have done in the past, do I want to be more careful of what I reveal? Or rather does it simply make me more cautious for those I often use as inspiration? More protective of their privacy as I am my own.

* Can we repeat after me P-A-R-A-N-O-I-D. ~grin~
** And I don't mean the lies and slanderous tales that E@L likes to attribute to me.

NOTE: It is completely coincidental that 12 months ago I wrote a post about Tattoo's Being Sexy, and then this post too is inspired by a tattoo, honest. ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Tattoos Are Sexy

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Bloggers, Tattoos Are Sexy, Being Blog Fodder

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 22 comment(s)

This was a random e-mail that some how skipped my spam filter and made it to my inbox, intrigued I opened it and...well...like the random searches that lead to my Blog this question deserves to be answered...


1. Dan...WTF? Who the f*ck is Dan? I can honestly assure you, and those who know me will corroborate that my name is certainly not Dan...it's Henry...Henry Jones jnr. ~grin~

2. 152, is the magic number of posts I have in draft, snippets, ideas, blog links, articles, thoughts and posted quotes from some of you waiting for me to return and turn into my own 2 cents. (Note: this email arrived Jan 17) The only reason they have not yet seen the light of day, is a combination of inspiration, motivation and sheer laziness...ok there may have been a few Martini's and some pure malt whisky involved...maybe. ~grin~

3. 529 is the size of my current Junk Mail, suggesting that the aforementioned laziness is extending to other aspects of my life.

4.

"Disgust is Nice, but Fear and Panic are Much Better"

I know this came from fool.com but it really does sound like something Nicolo Machiavelli wrote in The Prince. Might be a nice sentiment for a foreign power planning an invasion of a rival, but I don't think its really going to get me anywhere in the dating game...but then I don't really understand women, so who knows? ~wink~

5.

"Do Australian guys like to listen to the accent of American girls when they come to visit? I want to know if I'll be able to get extra attention when I come visit."

Well I can't speak for all Australians, so I will let Wombat and Scorpy speak for themselves, but all my American mates say that their accents works a treat when they are Down Under and I have to say my accent has always worked pretty effectively as an ice breaker in the US...so the short and simple answer is yes. But given that I have an admitted attraction for the suthin' accent my stance may be a little biased.

As for will it get you "extra attention"...mmm...are you hot? Do you have great legs, lovely jubblies and no pretense or fear of showing them off by dressing slightly slutty? If so, then the answer is yes ~grin~ If however you see Rosanne Barr when you look in the mirror then the short answer is...erm...no. Australian men are no further evolved than our American cousins when it comes to giving "extra attention" to women...looks will always trump personality...its not our fault, as a creation of a higher power or a simple product of evolution, we were just made that way. ~bigger grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Blank Canvas

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 14 comment(s)

Every woman I have ever met, save one, required maintenance...some required high levels, some required low levels, and some thought they required low levels, when they really required high levels. ~shudder~

But apart from one or two disastrous encounters, most women required some of the "touching base", "thinking of you", emotional support romantic overture that let her know that she was important enough for you to change your routine and compromise yourself away from the all-day sports coverage to give her some undivided attention.

And if your not, then it should be a huge note to self that she isn't the one...if for what ever ego-defending, pride protecting place of lethargic indifferent reasoning that you use to support your "couldn't be arsed" stance, if such is your soapbox, you need to accept that you stand on it alone, and she isn't the one to stand in support. If she is, the effort just comes naturally, or you at the very least you work at it willingly, sometimes even embracing it eagerly.

And from it all, if I learnt anything about women, or maybe anything about myself its that for me, a low maintenance woman in the end will just not cut it...maybe its the challenge, maybe its knowing that she needs a little attention, maybe it's a recessive chivalry gene that modern equality has not managed to eradicate from my genetic make up, whatever it is, I do know that I like a woman that requires some maintenance, and am more attracted to those that require more.

Maybe it is the challenge, the on-your-toes, need to stay on top of your game, thrill of the hunt situation?

And yet, we have been told "high maintenance" is bad...but I think this is because what the media and society has today labelled as "maintenance" still really translates through the male filter and into the male mind as quite simply "needing us", and at the root of all men is the need to be needed, to not feel superfluous in a society that constantly bombards us with feminine rhetoric that says we are.

And I think although they may say different, and give voice to different thoughts, in the dark, when they are alone...all men are the same.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Comparing

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, High Maintenance, Relationships, Understanding+Men

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 23 comment(s)

The "quiet drink" is one of the oldest man ploys or patented seduction moves (PSM*) there is, when a guy asks a girl for a "quiet drink" he is using the divide and conquer principle of seduction. He is with a seemingly nice guy non-threatening approach removing the woman from the protection of her friends, while also instilling her with a sense of confidence and hope that he is different from other the Neanderthals in the cave. This ploy allows him to show a softer side, in which he can engage the woman with witty banter and a "genuine" interest in finding out about her, her interests, her opinions, and while doing so build an aura of "niceness" and genuine concern...it is all a ploy.

He is secretly wondering what color her panties are, and can he seperate her from them tonight?

He will select a nice place, maybe slightly classy, but quiet enough, or with a low enough volumne of music so that he can actually hear what she is saying...a "quiet drink" needs a quiet place...if he is particularly experienced at this ploy he will not sit opposite her at the table, but rather next to her, so that he can be a little closer and partially remove the barrier the table represents. This also allows him to check out her profile and test her interest in him** while seemingly engaged in a "quiet drink" and some intimate conversation...

...who says men can't still be cunning. ~grin~

* PSM, not to be confused with a similar arrangement of letters denoting wild mood swings, stomach cramps and whos onset is heralded by the sexual urges and needs of a cheerteam full of nymphos.

** If you lean away you don't really care for him, but if you lean towards him, your are letting him know you are interested and enjoying your time.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Are Fantasies For Two?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Understanding Men, Dating, Man Ploys

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 11 comment(s)

While I am not one to normally believe in alternative styles of health, medicine and spiritual enlightenment*, it was not without an at least partially open eye and a slightly open mind that I agreed to have my numbers done. And so it was that I found myself sitting at the book cafe listening intently as a rather cute** friend numerically dissected my life, desired love and the inner workings of myself. Given that this friend, before starting, had just related that herself and some other friends had decided that my perfect partner would be, and I quote,

"Someone who would slap me around a bit"

I was therefore at least, on the strength of the accuracy of that statement, and the follow up discussion, prepared to give her a chance to tell me a bit about myself, and see if the process would reveal something I was not aware of or something with which I could at least take from the situation, reflect on, and come to a greater understanding of me and my driving motivations.

Apparently, and coming as no real surprise to myself or those who know me, a woman has to have a certain "wow" to attract me, but to keep me interested she has to be something much more than the demure submissive, which is exactly what my friend was saying when she concluded that I needed to be slapped around, that for me a relationship with someone unable or unwilling to express her opinion, or even have one to begin with would be one that would not last...also at least based on simple numbers, I am easily bored, prone to being fickle, and gain my energy from socializing far more than solitude.

To which I would conclude, true, sometimes, and only if my Xbox isn't working or I can't find a good book.

But more than that, the "slapped" comment might just have been the one thing all my past girlfriends did have in common...apart from the obvious yet very different "wow" that caught my attention and provided a "spark" of initial interest, they were all strong women, capable, opinionated, well reasoned, intelligent and educated, and it was only when I got to the point that I believed "forward" was not part of the equation that I grew bored, the relationship soured and, if I am totally honest, my attention then began to wander, not only in admiration but also looking for the next "wow".

So now I am left to ponder in the reflection of broken relationships, was it the "wow" that led to the end? My growing bored? Or do I subconsciously pick the "wow" that by its very nature is one that will lead to a finite thing...or in the words of my flatmate,

"Are you sabotaging your relationships before they even begin?"

* Unless one is talking about the idea that "the more sex you have the healthier you are" belief system, this one I believe in...completely...honestly ~grin~

** I know this often seems to be a re-occurring theme in both my posts and life, but it just happens to be one of the sad facts of my existence that I have a number of very cute female friends...yep, sucks to be me. ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Just Dust

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Numerology, Wow Factor, Relationships, Reflection

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 6 comment(s)

It looked good, I didn't check the price (a mistake?) and the "fashion consultant"* I was with was giving me the up and down that just said "yes" or was that "yum" (I am never good at reading signals ~grin~ )

...and thus I became the owner of the 400 dollar shirt.

Now I am not sure if the saying "the clothes maketh the man" really is true, and while I have friends who will vilify me for this, I have never really believed that clothes made a difference to guys, I liked to think at least amoungst men that we measure in something more than threads, but I also know that is a foolish belief. So sure I had my lucky shirt, all guys do, some even have their lucky jocks, but being a fairly confident guy, clothes really didn't enter into the equation too much, and yet at the same time I am more than aware of the "clean shoes" judgment made by women, and am being made aware how women are becoming far more visually judgmental than I ever remember them being...which I guess is only fair...since I am. ~grin~

So I got to thinking that maybe a little closer attention to the trappings would not go astray, any little edge in the game, something to keep the ladies going "mmm" and a girlfriend going "get the fuck away from my man, he's with me" would not exactly be such a bad thing. ~grin~

So I enlisted the help of my friend aNa, she being labelled with the aforementioned "fashion consultant" moniker, to give me some guidance and help a fashion stalled "old man" revitalize his wardrobe and look at clothes in a slightly different way. A professional fashion designer starting her own male targeted consultancy, we were doing each other a favour, I was getting her normally paid service for free, while she was getting valuable insights into the male mind, and some valuable feedback on how a typical male may respond to her methods and services...it was a win-win situation for both us. Actually I think I was getting the better end of the bargain...but she at least was getting lunch. ~grin~

Shopping with aNa is a no nonsense Blitzkrieg assault on the fashion precincts of Orchard Rd, to put it bluntly aNa shops a little like a man, that is to say in-out, repeat, until satisfaction is obtained. ~grin~ And having perused my wardrobe, she had declared that I really had no style at all or was the word she used, "boring", that I was in desperate need of her help, and could stand to lose a few pounds from the bits of my body that demonstrated my love of beer.*** Rather than just declare, in a flurry of rack grabbing, that this is what I needed, aNa is great at guiding and stretching one's idea of what looks good and perhaps most importantly what fits.

So over the next few hours, we traipsed around from store to store, trying on clothes and the all important, in the eyes of women, shoes...my mind was opened to some new possibilities as I flexed the boundaries of my Credit Card (ok, to be fair I didn't get close, but that doesn't sound so adventuresome, does it? ~grin~) , as aNa helped locate colours that suited me in styles with a little flair that ventured off my usual clothing path...not too far, but far enough to take me from mere clothes and into the realms of stylish fashion...which I think is the secret of her success, she doesn't try to make a man over completely, rather she guides him in seeing things a little differently and often from the all important point of view of the women hopefully admiring him...which if all men are honest is what its all about, simply impressing the girl. ~grin~

Which is how, after a blur of shops, and a not constant but often wrinkle of her nose that sent a clear "no", to both my choices and some of her own, it was that I found myself trying on a shirt and looking in the mirror with the faintest glimmer of a fashion eye, saying "ok, this looks good" and upon exiting the change room her once up and down and the smile playing on her lips said that this shirt was, in the vernacular of the movie Swingers, MONEY!

And I swear I only blanched a little when I laid the plastic down and saw how much a shirt that hinted and promised mojo was going to cost...at which point the only question in my mind was, where could I find a beer (so much for the belly) and would the clothes actually deliver in their costly promise? ~grin~

* Ok, I am really just teasing with the "fashion consultant" inside inverted comma's, this is a blatant ploy to titillate and offer some innuendo that my fashion consultant was/is something more. ~grin~ She isn't, instead she is a friend who also happens to be the hottest (insert a number older than Indy's advanced age) year old I know.

** Normally I would enlist my gf, when I have one, which I did at the time, but she was unfortunately out of the country, so I used a professional ~grin~

*** I think this is where the "tough love" of "friendship" came in as she assured me she has a slightly more tactful approach to her clients but as a friend I was fair game for the blunt honesty she reserves for those she labels as such...I guess I felt...erm...honoured.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Find Em Hot, Leave Em Wet

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Fashion Advisor, Mens Clothing, Style Council

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 27 comment(s)

how to prevent jeans from tearing in the inner thig
[ google results here | search led here ]

I have looked at this query from all angles...yes that means I even laid on the floor and looked up*, and apart from the very obvious typo, which suggests this question was either posed by a total geek** or by someone eagerly seeking the answer, I believe I have come up with preventative measure this seeker needs.

1. Don't wear the said jeans. If you never actually put them on, but leave them artfully draped across your furniture anyone lucky enough to see them will know you are a person of discerning casual tastes.

2. If you have to wear them, move to your destination in the fewest possible steps, and always sit with your legs as wide apart as you can to avoid the wearing of the material at this crucial friction point, or,

3. Perhaps you should consider joining a gym and losing some weight...you obviously have fat thighs...and just in case you don't, then,

4. Buy jeans that actually fit you. Wearing a denim ass-tent will not hide the fact that you have to do more of #3 nor will pouring your lard soaked derriere into a size clearly marked "child", again refer to #3

* Which got me some very strange looks outside the women's change rooms at the Gap store on Orchard Rd...so not to be advised, especially if you want to meet women. ~grin~
** It is a known scientific fact that most geeks type with two, or at most four fingers and do so at a rate that includes a naturally selective amount of typos but that also rivals most stenographers.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Cooking With Indiana

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 7 comment(s)

Aurelius of The Lost Legionary comes to the conclusion that the only person a single person can blame for their relationship status is of course themselves...and to answer his question, yes I did write about it.
(see Single. The Reason Is You)

---

As for the "young-ish" E@L he writes an interesting post in which he decides that the reason that some women are not satisfied with the "size" of the men they are dating has nothing to do with the man's tackle and everything to do with the...erm...size of the woman.

Scottish Woman: Och aye, ye no got a very big organ?
Col Elliot: ~grunting in effort~ Well, its not used to playing in a grand cathedral.

So get over there and although he has a pain in the arse registering system (he says it’s to avoid Viagra spam) let’s comment and fool him into thinking he is popular.

---

And while I was, and probably am, going to actually extend my hiatus and take a bit more time to myself, I could not let today go by and not offer a moment of silence for a post I wrote on this day last year...a post that shed new light to many a lost comrade adrift in a world were one's diet and the appetite that one brings to the table ensures repeat invites, by the owner no less ~wink~ to visit the restaurant, hopefully again, and again, and again. ~grin~

To Lucy, Giggles and Steph, I know how much you all loved this post the first time, lets hope you all love it again. ~bigger grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Vagatarian Diet

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Single Blame, Relationships, Vagatarian

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 8 comment(s)

I need to recharge my batteries, too many things going on in the offline world, one very important decision that now made needs to be reflected upon...for while it feels right, it also feels very wrong, like a chance has now gone, a corner has been turned and there will never be any going back, that the making of it destroyed a trust and now I need time...that in trying to do the right thing all I have done is hurt someone I had no desire to ever hurt...

...so I think I will take a moment...

...and with it, get a lot of sleep that needs to be had for no other reason than to not have it makes me tired, grumpy and prone to allowing my frustrations manifest themselves into words and print without a filter of balanced and logical decision making.

I plan to come back, but I will be gone at least a week...I just need some room to breathe, and most of all I need some time to reflect on how I allowed myself to get somewhere I didn't want to be and yet did, but in doing so hurt someone I love and who did, at least until very recently, love me back, all while losing sight of the person I strive to be...

...lets just say I need some time for my eyes to clear and for me to learn to like what I see in the mirror once more.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Nothing But Dirt

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 18 comment(s)

There are some things that just stick with you, lessons from youth imparted by so many different means, parents, family, friends, teachers, books and surprisingly for something with the slang name "idiot box" even the TV...

...for me one of those shows was and remains, thanks to DVD, Cheers.

Diane: Am I the stupid one for letting you go to see a woman you were once in love with?
Dr. Sumner: Darling, I am leaving you alone in a bar. Which one of us is the stupid one Sam?
Sam: Too close to call.

Trust really is the glue that holds a relationship together, while I might talk like sex (with a hot nympho ~grin~) is all that it takes to make a relationship work, I know at the heart of all great couples there is trust. Which is why the wariness that comes with experience leads us to question, when we should really be spending our time engaged in something more valuable than internal mind jousting with a demon of our own creation and wearing a mask of partners-past.

Note: However leaving a beautiful woman in a bar full of men sharks...although demonstrating great trust in her, is not the smartest or wisest course of action. Since you know you can't trust them.

Diane:Would you not discuss my private life with everyone that comes in here?
Sam: What would you like me to tell them?
Diane: I don't care.
Sam: She's a hooker.

Yes you do. The greatest lie a girl ever told a boy (and he stupidly believed) was/is "I don't care"...women have opinions, we all do...some of us are so bloody opinionated we write blogs ~grin~ but the utterance of the words "I don't care" is demonstration that a relationships communication has stalled, and that the person uttering those words believes that the truth will fall on deaf ears, and so chooses a false path of least resistance.

Since we do care, we need to be mindful, to voice our cares, too many people have found themselves in situations they did not want to be, simply due to the feigned lack of interest that comes from not caring.

Norm: Afternoon everybody!
Everybody: NORM !!!
Sam: How you doin Norm, what do you know?
Norm: Not enough.

Acknowledgement of one's limits, even to just yourself is a huge step in growth. The admission you know nothing is of course the ironic admission that you at least know one thing...but it is a start. admission that you know "not enough" is also the acceptance of one's desire to continue to learn, to continue to grow, and it is, at least as far as I am concerned, a trait that suggests an individual is both, possibly, humble but that they have a yearning to be better than they are.

And for me that if an attractive quality.

Diane: You were a drunk.
Coach: Are you kidding, he was a great drunk. Anything that kid did was great.
Sam: I was not a great drunk, I was a good drunk.

There is nothing wrong with admitting what you are/were good at. Too many people try to act contrite and humble, and while wonderful qualities if you have a skill there is nothing wrong with admitting it...don't brag, just admit and move on, don't linger, answer questions truthfully, and move the conversation off yourself and on too the lady your with/your host/some silly world event involving old-aged politicians and women a third their age.

Also correcting someones praise of you when the lavishness of it belies belief shows that you have a true sense of who and what you really are.

Coach: You are in here every night, doesn't your wife wonder where you are?
Norm: She wonders, but she doesn't care.

Apathy is without a doubt one of the most unattractive qualities a person can have...like Diane above and "not caring" it is the "shit or get off the pot" syndrome, to tread the middle road is to tread, for me, without passion. And it is in the passionate moments that come with caring...the oft associated joy, anger, rage, embarrassment, that makes a life worth leading.

While trust may be the glue that holds relationships together it is the continued demonstration of caring that makes having one all the more worthwhile.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: If

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, TV Wisdom, Cheers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 21 comment(s)

For most men, or at least all the ones I’ve talked to at any level of “checked-testosterone” (kudos to the Blokes in the Pub), sex is the easiest way for them to know if their relationship is healthy, it's an instant barometer as to the status quo...and unless one is completely ignorant its a quick check as to whether it's you and the dog in the kennel out the back tonight.

For guys, sex is very important to us when in a relationship (and when not ~grin~), but for very different reasons. Outside of a relationship, it's simply because it feels good and it scratches an itch in a way masturbation can't come close too. But inside the comfort of a good relationship it enables us to open up, to feel close, we feel validated, our feelings of relationship security increase along with our willingness to bend, to compromise, to nurture and even encourage...the truth is with regular loving sex I think most men become better partners.

And we all know if women are having doubts in a relationship then the first thing to go is desire and then the next thing to stop is the sex, and when this happens the man very quickly feels left on the outside.

If we initiate sex and are rebuffed, refused and otherwise rejected eventually we do stop trying to initiate, (true, I think for both genders) which leads to sexless unions. And lets’ be honest who in there right mind really wants to be in a partnership where there is no physical intimacy...but I think its because as much as women we crave some emotional stability and emotional connection...we just happen to approach it from the angle of sex bringing the connection, rather than more commonly in women where the connection brings the sex...but we do want the intimacy, we definitely want the closeness that comes from it or as a good mate of mine said recently “I can’t do the whole FB* thing, I end up getting attached”, which is just further proof in my mind that sex brings men closer to their partner.

* FB: Fuck Buddy

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Wisdom of the Father - I

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Sex, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 22 comment(s)