What does fuxy mean?
[ google results here | enquiry lead here ]

I had never heard of this term, but basically it is a mish-mash of two words and means: fucking-shitty

If your boyfriend wants to kiss your boobs, is it right?
[ google results here | enquiry lead here ]

...Erm...~grin~...ahh, well that depends?

Would you rather he kiss your boobs, or someone elses?

Man Fact: (and yes this will disappoint you all) If a man is not getting regular satisfying sex, he will look elsewhere, but then so will you. His attachment and feelings he has for you will wane and in time he will look for the closeness that sexual contact brings from another...this is not just about release or relief this is about "feeling close"...and even if it is the momentary instant of orgasm in a one night stand it will happen eventually if he is not getting what he needs and desires at home.

So unless he is completely asexual and has no interest at all, and the fact that he wants to "kiss you boobs" suggests otherwise, then my advice is let him.

But if you are my daughter, and you do, I am going to kill that bastard! ~honestly~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Digital Divide

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 16 comment(s)

I don't know if anyone ever said it but if they didn't they should have:

"Women like to tinker with men, men like to tinker with machines."

It has been a years since I have owned a car that deserved to be tinkered with, whether it was a respray, a gearbox swap or once a complete engine re-build there was always something intensely satisfying at hearing the next clunk, screech or snap...since you knew it wasn't something you had done, but it signalled something yet to do...and while I may have cursed the lost weekend and the nights spent under lights in the family garage the car supported on stands, there is also something intensely satisfying at taking a broken machine, reducing it to its component parts, cleaning each piece, and then re-assembling back into working order.

And it didn't matter what it was...stripping down my BMX for a new paint job and colour-coordinated pads, putting that extra set of lights on the roll bar of my 4WD, not because I needed more light at night but because I really did want to cook that kangaroo before I hit him. ~grin~ And while I have my share of horror stories that goes along with the learning curve of mechanical knowledge, some funny, some embarrassing in their naivety they all contributed to the comfort level I know feel around tools and fixing the stuff in our lives that once broken sees many today just reaching for the phone.

There is a satisfaction to it, grease and dirt beneath fingernails, tools for each specific task, and there is an honesty in the sweat that comes from it, and that sadly with my shed now reduced to a simple tool box my opportunites for such are small...and I guess I miss it.

Which might explain why I just saved my landlord $300 and fixed the broken washing machine in my apartment?

Because sometimes doing it yourself is much more satisfying.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The Affair

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Tinkering, Machines, Being A Man

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 17 comment(s)

After this post, I got a number (ok…2) e-mails questioning what menu I would use for the third date. So assuming my date has no dietary restrictions, I give you:

The Indiana Patented Seduction Dinner Menu 101.

Bread: Hot Italian Herb bread

Entrée: Caesar Salad with Fresh Parmesan and Herb Croutons

Main: Grilled Salmon steak on a bed of Fettuccine el Fungi with Honeyed Asparagus and Julienne Carrots

Dessert: Cheesecake topped with a Fresh Strawberry Sauce

Wine: Red, Banrock Station, Shiraz Cabernet Sauvignon. White, Nottage Hill, Chardonnay

Music: Sting at the Movies

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: How They Usually End

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Cooking, Relationships

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 7 comment(s)

Lusty asked what it takes to be good in bed, she wants to know what a guy looks for in a sex partner?

While I could wax lyrically and try to appear deep and somewhat sensitive and mention vague concepts like enthusiasm, presence, communication and an adventurous spirit, the truth is somewhat both simpler and yet at the same time more profound...and after some honest "Blokes at the Pub" social and scientific surveys I really couldn't let the question lay and not weigh in with my 2 cents.

The answer is simple...guys look for a girl...who...erm...well...swallows.

And no matter how shallow I appear for saying it, (and I know I do), it's really is the Holy Grail of sexual discovery with someone new...she has all these great qualities and then...erm...YES, it's like icing on the cake...it is however the why that is a bit "deeper" than the act itself (if you will pardon the pun ~grin~)

So of course the question is, why?

The sexual and gender revolution brought with it both the understanding and the expectation of the female orgasm...if you can't make her cum then you are perceived as the lesser man, or somehow sexually deficient and not living up to your responsibilities and it is no secret that the easiest way for a man to sexually bring a woman to orgasm is through oral sex. So isn't fairs fair, isn't equality about just that. And while you could talk about taste etc...that too me and the "blokes" really doesn't cut it...a guy has to taste the woman, so please explain to me the difference?

And don't even get me started on those women who go "it's disgusting", if that's your attitude then you really have only yourself to blame when a guy just ruts away on you until he cums then rolls over to snore the night away.

There is something more intimate about the act, the bringing of someone to orgasm through oral means and then also having them at orgasm is about acceptance, its about openness, and sexually it blows most guys minds, and simply, it does complete the intimate act. To spit, is to reject...plus it is a turn off when she rushes to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and spit in the sink...I can't help but wonder how a woman would feel if the guy after going-down and bringing her to orgasm rushed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth, while making spitting sounds? My guess is more than a little rejected, and self conscious about her taste and smell. And really, where is the intimacy that comes with feeling close when a partner is rushing to spit rather than snuggling into your arms for that post coital kiss.*

It has also been my experience that women who do so are more open sexually, and more "fun" in bed...they are more likely to be of the "angel-whore" variety that most men really desire, yet will often not either admit too or openly seek for fear of being perceived as shallow and driven merely by a base urge.** Such "open" women, in my limited experience are enthusiatic, adventurous and more likely to be present in the moment, and not mentally checking off their "to do" list.

And let's be honest, it's also less messy, there's no cleaning up, and that makes it so much easier when you are out in public, or in the car, or her parents laundry on Christmas Day. ~grin~

I am not saying that you "should give head to get head", I do believe that you should do it because you like it, in fact because you love it...but the truth is if she doesn't, then this red flag, and in my epigram this will be the first in the list of "no's" that make her the wrong girl for me.

Is my thinking shallow, insensitive and sexually inconsiderate?

Yes, absolutely, but no more so than expecting a man to go down on you and then not reciprocating, or assuming that a sexual relationship without the joys of oral will be ultimately satisfying. For you it might be, for me...never.

* I think both sexes should "get over" the taste "fear" and just kiss each other before, during and after, it's SEX, it's supposed to be messy, a little dirty, and involve fluid exchanges...plus it is so much fun, not having to stop and feel clean and instead just enjoy each others bodies completely.

** News Flash: We are shallow and driven by base urges, and while years of breeding, societal expectations and even chivalry helps us mask it, and act within an acceptable framework, even the nicest guy out there really wants to do nothing more, if he can be honest, than to bend the girl over and have his way. I think what separates guys from men, is not the absence of such urges but rather the control they are able to exert over our baser natures.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: The just 'friends' lie

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Sex, Blowjob, Swallow

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 32 comment(s)

There are two types of people in the world, those who admit they are shallow and those who live on that river in Egypt: De Nile.

Everyone is shallow, some people are just able to admit it.

Looks and money. I believe, if they can be honest, that all people would list these as something desirable in a partner. Whether you are a man or a woman matters little, but depending on which you rank higher will often say much about your gender, your self belief in your own looks and how financially solvent you are.

It is only those with money who say that it does not matter, similarly it is only those who would be defined as beautiful who deny that looks are important. It is also true that those without looks and with no money similarly say the same in order to both deny reality and defray the fact they are missing one or the other, or to offer a vain excuse to justify or hopefully hide the fact that they really desire both.

The vast bulk of people lay somewhere in the middle regions of both the looks and money spectrum, for them the truth is, looks and money both matter. Both are the keys to the higher echelons of society and to a more comfortable life. The world we live in is a shallow, selfish and vain capitalistic economy where physical looks matter and money is a key to comforts...while it would be nice to think that we have evolved beyond this and are better than this, for the most part we as humans have not and are not. Denial of this does not make it less true.

The UnCensored Mama, had an interesting post about what men want in the women they choose to marry...based on her beliefs and those of evolutionary biologists she listed (in order) five things: Youth, Beauty, Intelligence, Faithfulness and Wealth...and while I think Beauty and Youth are listed in the wrong order, at least for me (I know a very hot 40 year old who totally floats my boat ~grin~), I do concede that from a biological reproductive model that they make sense but as she says there are always exceptions to every rule.

But this list just shows what men want...what I want to know, is if they were completely honest (ie: comment anonymously if you have to), and ready to admit what they wanted and not what society tells them they should want, how would women order these five things?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Words Fail Me

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, What Men Want, Relationships, Understanding Women, Denial

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 29 comment(s)

Is it ok to sleep with a guy on the first date?
[ google results here enquiry lead here ]

What do men think of women if they sleep together on first date?
[ google results here enquiry lead here ]

Sleeping on the first date 'what men think'?
[ google results here enquiry lead here ]

The convential wisdom on this is...No.

But like most generalisation there are a myriad of exceptions and too many clauses to give a full answer in such a pithy manner...

So...personally I do not have a problem with it, and having consulted the "blokes" they seem to be generally in agreance.

Yes it is ok. (especially if it is me ~grin~)

But as to what guys think...mmm...men will fall into two camps on this, if he is a mysoginist game playing ass-hole his thoughts will, assuming you have some skill in sack, wonder if you would like to, without verbal arrangement or explanation, join his roster for the purpose of 'bumping uglies" infrequently and usually in the form of a booty call.

If he really likes you, the fact that you slept together will not diminsh his liking of you or his desire to get to know you better (again assuming you have some skill in the bedroom), but what it will do is create that "honeymoon can't get enough of each other physically" period in which most if not all ocassions spent together involve the shedding of clothing and mutually shared grappling. While this is great fun and will not diminsh you in his eyes, it does set up a situation in which sex is the focus of the relationship not the actually getting to know each other which should be the point at this time. And while it is possible to balance the "all you can handle sex fest" with the opening up and learning about each other, it is not easy and will involve ensuring you do other things together, since too oft such relationships becomes mired in "just sex" and after a random period of time you both realise you don't share anything in common, and really don't like each other at which point you return to square one and life as a single.

So its not the first date all-night sex marathon that dooms the future possibilities, its the basing the relationship on such joinings...if he really likes you, you have a great first date fucking and then you can keep your clothes on long enough each time you are together to actually share and be open with each other, then the fact that it was a first date hook up will not hurt at all.

As for what he actually thinks, well it goes something like this..."mmm, naked, boobies, yum, soft skin, kissing...why is she doing this with me again?..." at which point all the blood leaves our big head for the little one and we can only communicate in incoherent grunts and moans.

Of course if you are just looking for mindless amazing sex, do you really care what he thinks? And if this is the case, then my phone number is 555... ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Is it all a lie

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 13 comment(s)

"...she is out of your league..."
- Someone who didn't know better

There is no such thing. This has been/is my mantra, possibly a misguided belief that has been made true through experience, yet it is something I really hold true and have had demonstrated time and time again, to quote Hitch:

"Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man
has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom."*

It's all about opportunity and possibilities...you have to create the opportunity for her to see the possibilities in you.

Rewind, a few years ago...

She was feeling me out..."Would you pay X** to a Charity Ball that I had been invited too?"

"Yes, but I better be getting wild and totally mind blowing sex both before, after and ideally during the event." ~grin~

~kissing me~ "Of course!"

This was going to cost. If I wanted to play the game with the big boys, if I wanted to continue to impress the girl and swim in her pool for a while, or as my mate T says if I wanted to bring my "A Game" I was going to have to accept that creating opportunity will always cost, sometimes money, sometimes emotion and sometimes just simply time and effort...

...but with this one I would need to accept that the hip pocket would take a little hit.

And while I will admit, that I had a momentary flicker of "out of my league" I just as quickly squashed that thought and realised that she was enjoying my company, she liked me, and that at least for now, I was winning the game.

And let's face it, if you like the girl, and not in a one-night stand lets just bonk like bunnies kind of way, then winning the game is what it's all about...Heck, even if all you want is to "sport hump" her all night and only for that night, it's still all about winning.

Ultimately, very obviously I lost that game, or as one might say in a nicer parlance "I came in second" which as every man knows is "first loser", but the belief still remains intact, just because the pairing may in turn be proven to not work, does not mean you can't "sweep her off her feet" and have your opportunity.

But I did take from it a valuable lesson, that although somedays I struggle to put into practice, it still holds true...the easiest way to create the opportunity is simply: just ask. As for possibilities she has to see lots of things in you for that to be true, some depend on her and where she is in life, some depend on you and what you are looking for, and a lot, at least as far as securing a second date goes, depends on alcohol. ~grin~

* And while I believe it I am also very aware of the limits of my "sweeping action", in that for some reason I don't have one when in a nightclub...I have been successful in a bookshop, a coffee shop even while shopping for clothes...but in what should be the easiest of pick up joints, I have absolutely no game, ok I do, but it's not very good...go figure? ~wink~
** X being a rather large amount of money.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Going Down

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Men, Relationships, Jealousy, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 39 comment(s)

"...I have always felt that the battle between the sexes is founded solely upon jealousy..."
- Isabella Chen
Jan 07 August Man, pg 48.

The green-eyed monster, the stealthy building of questioning anxiety, the creeping dread of one's own insecurities made real and then manifested as an attack on another...one has become jealous, and the exhibiting not neccessarily the possessing of such is regarded as something less than desired.

Isabella argues in her article that men are the more jealous sex, and in this she is absolutely correct, but I don't think she has totally hit the "nail the head", so while as she ascertains that mens jealousies arises from "men [being] threatened by other men who are better endowed", I think the truth is not so that we are threatened by just that, but more so that being confronted by such, our own short comings are made clear and perhaps more importantly our self recognised fear that others may be made witness to those shortcomings. And if there is one truth all men know in their hearts, its that our own weaknesses and our own flaws are very oft the undoing of our desires.

Which means it's not other men perse that threaten us, and give rise to the jealousy, rather that in the presence of a possible better we are un-manned and left questioning...and the question we most often ask in the face of the colour green is "Why is she with me, I am not that good?"*

Because in those moment that appear fecund, we who truly know our weaknesss and our faults, are scared that you too will see them and we will be rejected...and a man's jealousy stems from fear, not envy or the threat of the other man, but the fear that in losing you to him or anyone or anything else, we will be left alone...not graced with the closeness of bonds that females and their friends share so readily, for it is only in a partner that men find the same comfort...and the absence of that, and/or the risk of its loss, is for us something on which we do not wish to dwell.

And with that...backed into a corner made from our own fear of loss and unworthiness most men see only one course...attack.

And unlike crimson attacks of another nature this vented fear finds its flag, green.

* And so when recently I was introduced to a man to whom I had, some time ago placed second, it was with smug self satisfaction that I realised I was the better man**, that her decision told me much about her and where she stood, but mostly I basked in the knowledge that the gnawing uncertaintity had been replaced and my self questioning had been answered, she had chosen poorly and I was better for it.

** Yes, I am totally aware of my own self arrogance, but what can I say: I'm that good. ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Tollund Man

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Men, Relationships, Jealousy, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 10 comment(s)

How to be inattentive to a woman's needs?
[ google results here | enquiry lead here ]

Firstly, any course of action that is implemented in attempting to put the answer to this question into practice will result in: NO SEX, so I have to wonder who in there right fucking mind would actually ask this...but anyway assuming you wanted to "loose a woman" through inattention...my advice, in 8 easy steps:

1. Never assist her to an orgasm, your new mantra: her orgasm, her problem.
2. Talk only to her breasts, her nipples are her new eyes look at them intently...all the time. This is doubly true with all her female friends.
3. When out in public, noticibly leer at the waitress, attendant or any women within 20m.
4. Also while in public grope her ass and try to feel her up, while people are looking.
5. Without prompting tell her "those jeans don't make you look fat, you are fat".
6. Never replace the toilet roll and leave the seat up.
7. Belch and Fart loudly while snigering as you meet her parents, colleagues, friends.
8. When she calls, sms's, e-mails wait at least 4 days before responding, but get indignant when she does not repsond within the shortest of times. Never initiate a call, unless it is for sex. (also see rule 1)

There are of course a zillion things you can do to ignore her, turn up the volumne of the TV when she talks, answer every question she asks with "uh-huh" and sit around all day scratching your nuts, drinking beer, eating pizza and watching sport, but the above 8 I believe are a sure fire way to piss her off while pissing her off.

If she is still with you after a month of this, you may want to try shagging her sister/mother/grandmother, but I would be of the mindset that she is either mad as a loon, or has decided to cut your balls off as you sleep...you can decide which one it is and take the action you now deem appropriate...I hear Alaska is a nice place to live.

Sic Parvis Magna?
[ google results here | enquiry lead here ]

Latin translation: Great things have small beginnings

The personal motto of Sir. Francis Drake, a saying much like "a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step"...personally I think it's a personal testament to those men out there who are in the "grower" not "shower" catagory. ~grin~

Are circumcised men good in bed?
[ google results here | enquiry lead here ]

Erm...this one is. ~grin~

Note: This week is aparently Blogger de-lurking week, (first seen here) so if you are one of the silent ghouls who has been haunting my blog, and yes I mean you my Chicago shadow...drop me a line to say g'day or tell everyone you think I am a pretentious little bastard who should STFU, I don't mind (honestly) and I won't hold you to comment ever again. ~grin~

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Time

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 20 comment(s)

"why nice guys finish last: cause we don't fucking believe you."
http://girlspoke.com/

It really might be that simple...after years of dating asshole jerk after bastard loser, the nice guy doesn't stand a chance, not because he is nice and therefore undesirable but because he is not believed...his "niceness" is seen as an act, an ulterrior motive for an endplay which experience has taught the ladies finishes in the same dance, ie: they get literally and metaphorically: fucked.

I have always claimed that what women really want is a guy who has the capacity to be nice, in fact he may be nice most of the time, but at the same time has some mongrel in him...she really does want you to just kiss her, push her skirt roughly over hips, while ripping her panties aside as you fuck her...HARD. She just wants you to respect her before, during and after, and not whipe yourself clean on her skirt while taking her in such a manner in front of her parents. ~grin~

Lacy: How did I fall in love with such a jerk like him? Why can't I ever meet a nice man?
Earl: You've met lots of nice men, Lacy. I'm a nice man. The biggest lie all of you women tell yourselves is that you like nice men, when, in fact, we bore you silly. The trouble is, you tell this lie out loud and so damned often that some of us more gullible types hear it growing up and work hard to become nice men. Well, from all the nice men in the world, Lacy, fuck you very much.
from Proposition Player, graphic novel by Bill Willingham, Paul Guinan & Ron Randall

So is it a lie we have been told, the desire for a "nice guy" or do "nice guys" finish last simply because no-one believes there is such a thing as a "nice guy"...is it a mythical thing that people have heard of, but having yet to meet or even touch they look upon instead with a sceptical eye? Is it simply a case of more proof that men and women really can't be honest with each other? And that once hurt we take a long, long time to really trust again?

But if that were the case are we so revenge driven that instead of rallying against it, we instead seek revenge on the next person? Do we allow our dreams and desires to be so easily swayed and altered by experience?

Or is it really that the difficulties in dating all stem from who and what we want to be percieved as is at odds with who we really are? And our own internal struggle with self translates into a simple lack of trust and inability to be honest?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: What Price Friendship?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Relationships, Honesty & Trust, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 41 comment(s)

I was going to transcribe the entire BTR interview with Wombat and the questions from DaisyJo, but instead after getting half way through and having my mind spin off down some inspired paths I thought I would post about some of the things I mentioned, and try to really explain them.

Economics of the Pussy (or EoP) is one of those things; this is a simple theory of supply and demand.


There is plenty to go round, in fact they are plentiful. Yet women are like DeBeers in that they deny and hoard the stockpile and thus drive the price up, by faking rarity.

This increases demand and ensures that it remains desirable.

It also ensures that men will make absolute idiots of them selves, jump through hoops and give away their cojones just for a sample.

Never has this fact been so evident than when in a conversation recently a woman I know quipped, "I can get sex if I want it" and never have I heard a truer statement, women can get sex whenever they want it, men have to instead work for it. This discordance between supply and demand is what causes nearly all the problems in dating and relationships…and I don't think it's because women want sex any less than men, rather its because they have been raised to believe that they are not supposed to want it as much as men, and with the belief that men want it far more often than is often the case in reality…and thus a discordance between reality and belief has created a system of "treasuring your gift", rather than "celebrating your sex".

And while the early church may have a lot to answer for in this movement from a celebration of sexuality to one of guilt wracked prudery, I have to wonder how long it will really take women to really embrace the freedoms won by the generations past. And is it sexually freeing to have sex like a man*, and celebrate and enjoy physical pleasure? Or is it such that, as is reported, such women are ultimately left feeling empty and unfulfilled?

But regardless of the whys and the what for's of sex and the variances between the sexual urges and drives of the genders one truth currently remains in play, women have it, and men want it…which quite simply means a smart woman has all the power, and she is in control.

The smart guys of this world gave up long ago denying this fact, instead accepting and embracing it…even strategizing ways to win, even while in the lesser or under-dog position.

Because here is another truth, one that women don't want us to know, she may have it, you may want it, and she may verbally protest against your lust, but the truth…if she likes you, she really wants you to win, she just wants you to work for it so she feels she didn't give it up too easily, she needs to know that you were willing to fight for her, but at the same time she longs to give in and let you win.

My advice, if she is worth it, if you really like her…then fighting for her, jumping through a few hoops is not really such a high price to pay, after all she has something you want…and if you do it right she will be very free with her supply. ~grin~

* A statement I have never really understood, since most guys I know who do this ultimately if honest also end up feeling empty and unfulfilled…maybe the truth is that the desire to find one partner, the right partner is one inherent in our makeup and is just a prt of who we are and who we have been denying.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: ONly Dust

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Sex, Wanting Pussy

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 28 comment(s)

Once in the dinosaur days of computers, well more specifically peripherals, there were two main types of communication; serial and parallel.

Depending on your country or origin, dating was/is like this.

Serial Dating: is where we flit from one partner to another, always ending one relationship before moving on, never single for long, or maybe it could be for a while. The key here is that you date only one person at a time.

Parallel Dating: is multiple dating, where you date many partners simultaneous without committing to anyone of them, but that all partners are aware that you are "seeing other people", and you have not had the "talk", which invariably includes the word: "exclusive'. In other words you are honest, and I mean completely honest. (Which for the genders can be very difficult to say the least?) Generally speaking the art of getting naked with anyone of these partners signaled an end to your dating, but not always dependent on your morals. ~grin~

Now depending on your predilection and often your cultural bias, you may practice one form or the other…Indiana has always been a serial dater, though he admits to dabbling in the parallel pool once or twice…but as age and wisdom gently rest their mantle on my shoulders I am starting to see more merit in the parallel system.

Introduced to me by an American girl, quite a number of years ago, parallel dating allows for you to get out and meet lots of eligible and catchable girls/guys without the recrimination of getting a "rep". Now whether you are enjoying a physical relationship with any of these partners is up to you, the key is to be honest with all of them, that you are in fact seeing other people, and that they in fact should do so as well. The obvious advantage to this method is that dating, or developing a relationship becomes a matter of choice. Sure there is chemistry and a certain level of lust involved, but both parties, if they agree to date, have weighed up the merits of a number of partners and made mutual decisions that have led them to one another. No longer does a shadow of question remain, the choice is made, not on immediate availability but rather on the choice of the best. And if you are chosen then you have the added security to know you were chosen, not that you were just there as a biological clock started to gong.

Much the same as a mate once confessed to me that he would rather date a girl who is athletic yet average looking, for she can set goals and attain her dreams than one who is drop-dead gorgeous for she was just born lucky, dating a woman/man who has chosen you over others, not out of the desperation of single hood, should be a blessing, for with choice comes the objectivity of commitment. Love I believe is a choice, sure there is the heady rush of emotion, the loin/chemical fueled lust of in-sync sexual drives and desire, but for a relationship to last it must be a choice, for only with choice can one truly know what you gain and what you choose to give up.

And I know I would rather be chosen, than be the "right guy at the right time" I would rather know that I was a choice, with all my flaws, that I was chosen over others, that for the best ego stroking life moment: I won and I was the best.

Wouldn't you?

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Settling For A Cage

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Dating Styles, Wisdom

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 18 comment(s)

"I've already cum"
[ google results here | enquiry led here ]

Well I am not sure whether I should say congratulions or I should offer my commiserations. If you are a two minute wonder like my friend N is currently dealing with then I suggest you double bag it, and start reciting your nine times tables...but as a conversation I had with another young lady the other night would suggest, if she has already enjoyed herself numerous times then this statement is quite redundant and you are allowed release as quickly as you desire. Just let the lady cum first. ~grin~

But truthfully I am hard pressed to imagine an occasion where this statement would be appropriate or required...unless you really are a selfish twat.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A Khipu

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wisdom, Questions & Answers

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 12 comment(s)

Wombat (the Yang half) of Kiss & Blog has asked me to appear on his BlogTalk Radio programme.

So at 8PM (US East Coast Time) Friday 5th January*, Wombat and I will be having a little chinwag, and generally just shooting the shit about our take on well basically women, dating and sex.
(to which my answers are, love them, it can be fun, and please can I have some more. ~grin~)

Wombat has told me that after a little time for our tete-a-tete, he wants listeners to be able to call-in with questions (aka a real radio program) during the live broadcast.

So if you are interested in listening to two Aussie world travellers shoot the breeze, or have a hankering to ask a curly one of me, feel free...better yet, if you are hot, single and your father owns some form of liquor manufacturing establishment, I would really like to hear from you, so during the show call:


* 9AM (Singapore) Saturday 6th January.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Nothing. He was relaxing under a Palm Tree

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Wombat, BlogTalk Radio, Kiss & Blog

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 26 comment(s)

Life quite simply is a series of cycles, the dating beliefs one holds true are in a constant state of flux and forever changing and that vital must have quality, that elusive yet shallow requirement that so defined one period of your life later on seem's so...well so unimportant.

We all, through trial and error and that thing called life arrive at a place where we are approaching a somewhat fuller picture of ourselves and a picture of what we are looking for in that someone to share it....

But what if we are wrong? What if someone has all the qualities we desire, save one? Do we drop our shallow requirements and accept that in the past the pursuit of such has not brought us happiness? Or do we smile into the mirror and just accept that:

"Only the shallow, truly know themselves"
- Oscar Wilde

I was going to write about spit vs. swallow, the implications, the message, the perception, both personal and societal, I was going to look at the intimacy of one vs. the other...

...but sitting in a coffee shop I really can't help but wonder if all my views on it are wrong? And maybe it not only shouldn't matter but maybe it really doesn't?

This is followed quickly on the heels by a flash thought: Fuck, am I finally getting to that place called mature? Am I actually growing up? Or am I just having a bad week? ~grin~

87 . 104 . 97 . 99

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Ushabti Figurines

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Shallow Desires, Life Cycles, Questions

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 10 comment(s)

"A part of me covets the 'bubble' that the distance from my family affords me."
- Wong Kim Hoh
Dec 17, 2006, Life Section
The Straits Times

All families have their "ups and downs", the moments in which you question "am I adopted?" and wish yourself anywhere but with these kin...mine is probably not as bad as some, though also not as good as others also...but then I am not the perfect son, so therefore I don't really deserve, as much as anyone does, the perfect family.

And yet, I love that I have them, just as much as I love that they aren't here, the fact that they live somewhere else is, without a doubt...comforting.

And while personally I believe that "absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder" and that certain bonds need to be refreshed regularly with contact and shared experiences...I do think that the bonds that tie a family, the bonds of development and so much time are such that while the day to day toil is not shared or even really glimpsed that time spent apart does not actually lessen the ties as it perhaps it does with a chosen lover. Those thrust upon us by birth are different than those chosen by us. And while the later may for many people have the strength of adult, and hopefully mature decision, it is the former with the trials of "growing up" that we remember with fondness and recalled smiles.

I guess it's this time of the year, being the holiday that, at least for my culture, was one spent over indulging in food, uncles racked out wherever they could find space partaking of an afternoon nap, kids running wild around the pool while grand parents totally incapable of saving a drowning child watched with a "be careful" and a "don't do that too your brother" type of dissaproving look that only the aged and those within the reach of family can manage and get away with.

And so while many consider it a time for family this year I have decided to not return home, for a number of reasons, cheifly that I don't really see the point, maybe it's a bit "bah Humbug" but Christmas has loss its luster, it is a holiday to be enjoyed by the young eagerly ripping to shreds carefully covered gifts in a rabid frenzy of rip and shred, until the gift once glanced at is cast aside for the next carefully prepared parcel.

And the truth last year Christmas at home really sucked and I have no desire for a repeat.

And so while at certain times of the year people are eager to begin breaks and look forward to flights home, I am actually glad at the "bubble" of being an expat that isolates and insulates me from the daily "crap" that is being part of a family. And although I love my parents to bits, and would do anything for them and both my brothers...I still reflect that were they not (the brothers) of my kin then it is unlikely that we would find common ground and even bother to be friends.

And lets be honest there comes a time, when one lives abroad, when asked are you heading home...that a quick look around your apartment, out the window and over this island, is all it takes to realise "this is home." and it's where I plan to be for a long time.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Nothing but potsherds

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Home, Family, The Expat Bubble

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 14 comment(s)

I remember the first one of these that Steph gave me last year (technically the year before ~grin~), and since I currently have both the time and am feeling a little introspective, I thought that as a set of questions they would be a good place from which to take a look at my year-in -review. And maybe while not really believing you can wish a New Year to be anything other than it will be, possibly it may help set some objectives and create some focus for the next few weeks or at least until I forget like all such made resolutions.

What did you do in 2006 that you hadn't done before?
Made sure someone's first time was everything mine wasn't and everything that it possibly could and should be.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

Did anyone close to you die?
Also No. So once again a year of Kharmic balance.

Did you travel? Where did you go? Best holiday memory?
Chowing down on Hotdogs, drinking an Old Style beer at Wrigley Field while watching the Cubs collapse and lose another game of the summer.

Best thing you bought?
My Xbox 360. Can we say hours of mindless relaxation?

Where did most of your money go?
mmm...alcohol. No question, grog costs a lot in this country and I really didn't want to give it up.

What do you wish you had done more of?
Probably the same thing I wish I had done more of every year: Made love with a beautiful woman.

What do you wish you had done less of?
Worried about tomorrow and instead just enjoyed the moment.

What kept you sane?
If I was totally honest, I would say nothing, 2006 was the year I just accepted that I am stark raving mad, and therefore nothing in this life, or maybe even the next, can keep me sane.

What drove you mad?
Being attracted to (or falling for) selfish women.

What made you celebrate?
Have you seen how many beautiful women there are in this city, let alone the world...added to which, even though I tend to find it hard to believe, some of those very same women, like me. Beautiful women that like me, is a reason to be happy, beautiful women that like and see possibilities with me, is the reason I celebrate.

What made you sad?
Most days, waking up alone.

How was your birthday this year?
To put it bluntly "it was just another day", spent with no one special, and doing nothing very special.

What political issue stirred you the most this year?
The continuing debacle that is the Wests involvement in the M.E. and the continued denial of the real reason why. And/or the continued breakdown of the separation between church and state that sees fundamentalists slowly taking over and dictating political agendas from platforms designed to cement their own positions in power rather than a genuine desire to further spread their beliefs.

Where you in love in 2006?
Abso-fucking-lutely! ~grin~

What would you like to have in 2007 that you didn't have this year?
A relationship that was here, now, and with both the opportunities and possibilities to really be everything I want from such a situation and for me to be everything I can in the same.

What date from 2006 will be etched in your memory and why?
I'm a guy, I don't remember dates, or anniversaries or even birthdays...while my year had highlights, most of them have a too much associated pain and even a little lingering hurt for me to truly allow that one stands out above all others.

What song will remind you of 2006?
"Don't Cha"...because I am no different than any guy , I want a "freak".

Compared to this time last year are you happier?
Same-Same, But Different. Happier in some areas, less happier in others. So again I guess there is some form of Kharmic balance to it all, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't like to be happier, so my thinking along those lines is probably the same as everyone else's.

Biggest achievement this year?
Besides making it through the twelve months in relatively one-piece. I think it was finding myself here and realising that I could make a home here for more than a short-time and be happy. That there is enough here to keep me "interested" and "challenged" and that there are adventures in the offering close by, all I have to do is go chase them.

Biggest disappointment this year?
That no matter how much I learn from experience I seem to learn nothing from experience, and that I must be made, if I continue to exist within the same cycle albeit with different people.

What is the one thing that would have made you more satisfied?
Becoming obscenely, and I do mean obscene, not dirty, but filthy obscenely, rich.

Best new person you met this year?
This is a hard one, there were four people I met this year, fairy even chronologically and all four either have/had/or will have a huge impact on me in the future.
One is a person I now call friend, one broke my heart, one opened my eyes and my horizons, and one saw something special in the man I am struggling to be.

A valuable life lesson you learnt this year?
That I am never going to date let alone marry Kelly Hu or Evangeline Lily ~grin~
But seriously, I learnt it twice, when someone says they will do anything for you...they are lying. They will do anything as long as it doesn't inconvenience them, cause them discomfort, or deviate from the plan they have for their life and their desires.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: A bikini clad beauty

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, 2006, In Review

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00 12 comment(s)