32 Comments:

   Sous Gal said...

 With great respect and please know that most of the time I enjoy the insights and experiences you share here on your site...and yet...

In the same vein of Lose the Pet...how about...lose the kid? Same thing. Adopting a pet is adopting that pet for the length of their life.

As for using a pet as a reason for meeting you late or leaving early....that's just you being given a heave ho. Just like any other appointment or obligation you work around it to go on the date or persue the relationship.

Bye the same token, she/he has a pet. Work around it.

 07:46  

   TC said...

 But... who keeps us company when you aren't around?

 08:29  

   M said...

 haha, how do you feel about a goldfish?

Some advice to single men everywhere - lose the games console!

Nothing says I'm pathetic and hell bent on being single forever and have given up on life more than that! It's a huge red flag to women everywhere!

 08:55  

   bumbler said...

 OHHHHH come onnnn!! Then we can say, lose the xbox then, or WoW or whatever it is that keeps men awake at night and not in bed with us, it's just one of those things, the pet isn't something thats gonna get lost anytime soon,because while we may like you right now, they (pet) got there first and we love them and will love them long after you are gone.

 08:58  

   Peranakan Dude said...

 For a while, La Femme's Jack Russell (actually it's her mom's) was becoming quite an annoyance whenever I went over to her place. I mean, that mutt probably thinks it's human, and there were times when we decided to get cozy on the couch, and it'll (I refuse to accord it the "he" reference) be there growling away like some jealous boyfriend... and then she'll take it outside to the balcony, close the door, and then it starts to whine.

In short, a spoilsport.

 09:09  

   Indiana said...

 Sous Gal: A kid and a pet are not the same thing, they are not in the same game, league or even ballpark.

And while I have loved pets in the past, and I think dogs are amazing, a pet is an impediment to dating. An animal should never come before another person, nor should they come before yourself, but they allowed to do so.

TC: erm...they are called friends. ~grin~

M: Well I think a goldfish is an easier one to work around, but I have never heard of one limiting one's dating.

Isn't it great to know that the genders can have their "red flags" and that the internet and blogging can let us express them? ~lol~

Anyone want to buy an xbox?

Bumbler: And with the transient nature and the wave of farewell so quickly given to us in favour of a pet is it any wonder we turn to electronic toys to keep us awake and out of your bed.

Maybe if the affection shown to the pet was directed where it should be, you would not be in bed alone?

Dude: Or it was very well trained by the mum? ~grin~ Thank you for being the first guy to chime in and see that my point has some validity.

 10:37  

   watergirl said...

 Indy! That's awesome! My mother was going to buy me a cat to teach me to be more kind towards animals and so that I wouldn't be alone. I refused due to the fear of being crazy cat lady.
The same goes for guys though... guys with cats are a little creepy!

 11:34  

   Sous Gal said...

 Notice I said the pet is to be worked around. By the same token, kids are an impediment. So, too, can friends, relatives, exes.

There are valid reasons for a woman living alone to have a dog. Protection, safety. It's not necessarily companionship. It also behooves a pet owner to train the dog to behave. The human is in charge.

I won't launch into a discourse of how truly mean and low it would be to just "ditch" a pet because the pet is an impediment to dating.

A well trained and behaved dog wouldn't interfere with a pet owner having their own life outside of Rover. In fact, a well trained adult wanting a partner wouldn't allow a pet to curtail their life to an extent that they couldn't date.

So would the parent of a child.

Do you not read the personal ads "my kids are my world" ad nauseum. I don't see those same sentiments expressed regarding pets and yet.. I know myself and I know that I don't want kids in my life. Again. You don't want pets? Don't date women that have them. Easy squeezy.

Ok I WILL launch into a tirade of pet ownership and responsibilities.

If you were dating a woman, and she gave up her dog or cat because you found that pet inconvenient....what does that say about her integrity? About her committment to a pet she adopted, or say, a boyfriend? What would you think of a woman who shoved her kids aside, or her pet, to be able to date you?

I'm just sayin... :)

 12:40  

   Indiana said...

 Watergirl: Having a pet does not increase your datebility, and it does add "baggage" to the package you bring into the game. Sometimes this "baggage" is good, sometimes it is bad...but it is still "baggage". I think those without it are at an advantage.

Sous Gal: Your stance on what it may or may not say about a person are very valid, esp. given that in this modern world of dating where people do not really say what they are thinking we are forced to read between the lines, and interpret someone from their actions.

However, your continued "lumping" of a child and a pet into the same catagory to further support your stance is one without merit. A child is not a pet and I am not suggesting they are or should be regarded as such when it comes to any facet of your life, and especially theirs.

Yes a pet is a wonderful thing, but having one changes your life, and not all the changes are for the best, nor do they benefit the owner. A pet is just a pet, and at the end of the day, no matter how much personality, love or affection it shows you, it is still just an animal.

No, I do not really advocate "dumping" the pet, and while I have played quite "fast and loose" with my post to get such a reaction as yours, I would advise any single woman who is thinking of buying a pet to seriously think about how this makes you a "job lot" and increases the baggage you will bring to a potential relationship. I would advise any guy exactly the same thing.

 13:02  

   Miss Frou Frou said...

 Indy it seems all I need do is read your blog to get ideas for my own or to react on my own!

Not going to harp on here, but I find it interesting your response to Sous Gal, who I agree with actually.

I'm a cat person, will openly admit it, and my cats have never spent a night on their own... and anyone I date needs to understand that. He either stays over, or I go home or I organise someone else to look after them... it's no biggie, and if it is going to be (i.e. he doesn't like cats or wants to be the centre of attention all the time) then he's not the man for me anyway!

 18:15  

   gremlin said...

 You'll lose out on dating almost HALF the awesome, hot gals in this universe if you choose lonely, cranky singles over tuned-in, warm, loving ones (ie. those with pets to share the love). So treading on dangerous ground you know, Indy. Re-read last line. In other words, be so careful now, Indy.

 19:00  

   Mia said...

 "we men don't play in the deep end of our brains too often"

My favourite line in a long long time!

And we've had this conversation too many times for me to bite on this one.

 20:20  

   Indiana said...

 Miss FF: I still fail to see the romantic nature of having to get someone in to mind your pussy so you can stay at his place. ~grin~

Gremlin: Well I do so love living on that river in Egypt...De Nile. :-)

Mia: Glad I could entertain.

General Comment: And doesn't anyone see the irony in a post about "no pets", on a blog named after a dog I once owned. But its nice to see you all biting in response. ~grin~

 20:27  

   Enigma said...

 "Is a women with 20 cats really crazy'
Marge in the Simpsons.

 21:32  

   the VirginPornStar said...

 I love cats. There, I said it. I'm a crazy cat lady who purrs and rubs against her man when she wants something.

I think if you have a pet and you're going to go on a date, you'd take the trouble to either feed your pet beforehand, or have someone else take care of spoiling it before said date. If a girl uses the "I have to go home and feed my cat" excuse, then to paraphrase Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, "She's not that into you." Bummer. Move on and find someone else, as the redundant cycle of the dating game demands you do.

But telling women to get rid of their pets just because it interferes with dating life? I'm sorry Indy, you know how I adore you but that's just unacceptable. If you're going to say that, you might as well say that about every single thing in a girl's life that takes priority. Lose the job, because you might have to end dates early for those early morning meetings. Lose the relos, you might have to forgo this weekend's date because of a cousin's wedding.

I don't know about other people, but my life doesn't exactly revolve around dating at the moment, so I'm not willing yo give up something I love for the sake of something I don't, at this moment in time, consider very important.

 22:57  

   Cinnamon said...

 I've got a dog AND a child. Guess I'm screwed.

Or rather, not screwed.

 23:19  

   Adjil said...

 Oh Indy - Stirring up the pet pot. Like Sous Gal says, pets only get in the way of dating when you want them to. Or when you are, in fact, dating crazy cat lady. :-)

 00:33  

   Tiny said...

 Perhaps those with pets would be with someone who also has a pet or at least he/she shares the same passion in pets as they would understand each other?! With the assumption that their pets get along well with each other.

 12:25  

   After it all . . . said...

 Oh, I love this blog! Yes, pets are a pain -- but we love them so. It's a tough one.

 13:23  

   Hazel said...

 omg, are you serious? lol Erm, that would mean no children either then??

Men can't all the be same as you sure, because if most of them are it makes me wonder...is there any hope for the male race? lol

 14:25  

   expat@large said...

 Message just in from the 'deep end of my brain' to Indy - agreeing 100% with Bumbler --
lose the X-box (or PS3 or Wii or whatever juvenile souped-up Donkey-Kong electronic time-waster you have) if you want to be taken seriously, wonder-boy.

I also see where Sous Gal is coming from. Good point. Lose the kid.

 20:20  

   Miss Natalie said...

 2 cats - so there!

 21:42  

   The Mama said...

 dear indy
you are a genius at stirring up controversy and keeping the comments coming, aren't you?

 00:56  

   Mymsie said...

 Umm, I don't have any cats but I'm positive that smart, mature men do not mind if women have pets.

And anyone who'd take time to write this paragraph on his blog...

"The catch is we men don't play in the deep end of our brains too often, we are more comfortable in the areas we more readily understand and in that area ending a date early to go home to feed your cat, or not being able to meet for drinks after work because you have to let the dog out is not something that endears you too us terribly well"

...has totally outed himself as exactly the kind of guy who spends perhaps too much time playing in the deep end of his brain.

 02:16  

   Sarah said...

 What a cynical tone you've taken Indy!

My dog is very beneficial in the dating world. I've found out that she's often a better judge of character than I am. I want a person who will love me and my dog.

I think it's what it all comes down to--what we want in a person. While you may not want an animal lover, I absolutely do.

In the future, you should just steer clear of pet owners if it means that much to you. And the whole "I have to go home and let the dog out"? It's a total line.

 04:51  

   expat@large said...

 Mymsie: you mean 'not enough time'

And as if the goal of "being the centre of attention" of someone you just met for a date is anything less than mildly psychopathological... It just screams "restraining order"!

Dude, like some 30+ year old lawyer has been locked in her tower alone for so long that the instant she sees you across the salad bar at Sizzler (or wherever you take your dates these days) all she will ever think of is you, her kernigget in shining armour.

Get real; you're just another dick with legs, a credit card (and loads of annoying emotional baggage and possibly a social disease) to her.

She should be the centre of YOUR attention, not other way around... (and certainly not the XBox)

And the truth is, with such self-centred people, neither scenario is going to happen.

 09:08  

   TC said...

 Most of my "friends" don't sleep over and keep my feet warm at night...

 09:21  

   expat@large said...

 Sarah: so when I was a kid and my Dad used to say he was going to see a man about a dog, he was really just trying to get away from me?

 10:43  

   Kat Wilder said...

 One dog, one cat, one teen and two (now dead) fish ... and I still manage to get some.

Never underestimate the power of being able to give a great bj ... (which fits in perfectly with the "not at the deep end of our brains" thing, by the way)

 13:30  

   Indiana said...

 General: WOW, a guy goes away for a few days and comes back to all these comments...I never knew suggesting that a woman be less attached to her pussy would elicit such a response...and such venom. ~lol~

Enigma: mmm...yes.

VPS: "That's just unacceptable", and yet most relationships as they form do see other friendships end, do see things from before the relationship abandoned and forgotten in the new light.

As you have said in the past "you want to have your cake and eat it too", and unfortunately life expects you to make choices.

Cinn: No you are not screwed, but you do have to acknowledge that they are extra hurdles to dating...hurdles you may never ever wish to change, but hurdles none the less.

Adjil: Thank you for recognising a post to garner comment debate :-)

Tiny: mmm...and what if tey don't...what if two people date, like each other, and fall in love? Whose pets gets the flick if the two do not get one?

Or do the couple break up for the sake of a pet?

After it all: Some posts just bring out peoples inner venom...you'd think I had suggested that all women should be circumcised. (And before anyone fails to see the irony in that, let it be known that Indy loves the clit)

Hazel: You have to decide whether I am serious or not, and I think I have made it v clear that pets and children are two very different things.

E@L: "Wonder-boy" are you trying to insult moi, are you trying garner a rise and a venom laden response.

And if you my well read friend would read you would know that I have said it pretty clearly that pets and kids are two different things.

Nat: I can see you poking your tongue out as you typed that.

Mama: Thank you mama, I think a little controversy is good for the soul. :-)

Mymsie: mmm...damn am I that transparent.

Sarah: Did I write that I don't want an animal lover?

E@L: "you're just another dick with legs, a credit card (and loads of annoying emotional baggage and possibly a social disease) to her"

Somebody is feeling a tad cynical today huh? Is the impending Cats loss bringing too many negative waves into your world.

TC: Well I would kind of hope the good "friends" do.

E@L: That's right. ~lol~

Kat: A great bj is the way to a man's heart.

---

Thank you all for lovely comments, right now I am going back to toilet training my new puppy, and I have Halo 3 to conquer. ~grin~

 09:21  

   Elizabeth said...

 I did lose the pet. :(

She ran away, and I'm still not getting laid. Advice, oh master?

 06:40  

   Paige Jennifer said...

 The only thing worse than a woman with a cat is a man with a cat. Puts an entirely new spin on labeling a man a pussy.

 10:47