The Dog's Name

Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Thursday, September 20, 2007

she said yes to a date and i want to keep her interested?
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In the 1966 Michael Caine movie Alfie (not the modern, though still quite enjoyable remake with Jude Law*) he utters this famous line,

"Make a married woman laugh and you're halfway there."

And I think if you just remove the "married" from Alfie's advice (or leave it there if you are so inclined) the answer on how to keep a woman interested is half there...its finding the other half of the answer that is the most elusive.

But as I said to a friend recently when we were talking about the seduction of a woman,

"the key is to get inside her head...if you can do that you don't have to seduce
her, she will seduce herself and just take you along for what you hope is a very
pleasurable ride."

So that then begs, how do you get inside her head?

And for that I have 5 pieces of advice, they may be worthless, they may not, use them at your own risk.

Talk WITH her. It's very easy to talk down to a woman, but then its easy to talk down to a man for that matter as well. It also very easy to talk over a woman, talking to her and with her is a skill, it is not innate, but it can be learnt...my advice, cultivate some female friends (yes even if you lust for them, bury those thoughts) and just talk to them.

Listen to her...this is not as easy as it sounds, especially when most of what she says you either have no interest in or no knowledge of. Cultivating a little interest and knowledge in the things that excite a woman will open the door to her head far faster than a detailed knowledge of "Monster Trucks, the shotgun manouvre and/or Jessica Alba's hip/waist measurement". (But if you know the last I hope you will share it with me?)

Chivalry...it's not dead. And old school charm opens the doors to now only the car and restaurant but most often to her imagination and the door to her mind. Opening the door for a woman serves two purposes, it shows you are a gentleman and gives you time to check out her legs and bum without being obvious about it. It's a win-win situation, I suggest you use it to your advantage...no door to open...then gently steer her through the door before you with the gentlest of pressure on the small of her back and check out legs and bum (again). The key to chivalry in the modern world is very simple, and its a sure fire way of impressing a woman...simply be nice to those who serve you. They are not beneath you, their lives and careers simply follow a different drum to yours, they still deserve your respect. She will admire you for it, and you will open that door to her mind a little more.

Give her room to be herself. A cage no matter how gilded is still a cage, with wings clipped and movement restricted, the 'prize bird" that the man has battled for, will wilt and die, its plumage will lose its lustre and with it his desire for her, and her desire to be held by him. Now I know this runs counter to every instinct a man has, since after all, we know men cannot be trusted, and we certainly know that such a "prize" will attract the attention of other, possibly better, predators...which is true. Also it might be true, that if you do give her room to be herself, room to grow, if you do encourage her and even support her becoming better she still might leave you, but if you cage her sooner or later it is true that she will.

And lastly, call her on her Bullshit. Most men tread lightly.

"Tread lightly who lives in hope of pussy."
- Trixe, Deadwood

Most men tip-toe around and pardon the pun "pussy foot' until she loses interest and her imagination is no longer thinking of you but the waiter. Calling her on her "verbal diatribes and oratory shit" will not lose you her interest, in fact it will earn you points. You have to do it nicely, you can't jump up on the table and cry out "you are so full of shit"** with an accusatory jabbing finger, you have to allow enough room for a little decorum, a little face saving and you need to use just a little chivalry.

Note: I didn't mention sex, I shouldn't have too. Since it can be pretty much taken as gospel that if you are not taking care of business in the Department of Giving Orgasms, you can be assured that somebody else is.

* I mean seriously if you had Sienna Miller would you fuck it up by shagging the maid...or maybe for Jude the line he uttered in the remake was true, "Whenever you meet a beautiful woman, just remember somewhere there's a man who's sick of shagging her."
** I would like to apologise the staff and patrons the the Post Bar, I am not usually so vocal in my exclamations of incredulity...but you all have to agree anyone who honestly spouts "England so deserve to win the RWC", really does deserve to be called on it. Although I do concede "Are you fucking crazy, you stupid twat" may have been a tad over zealous.

Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: My Perfect Bar - I

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Women, Dating

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00

16 Comments:

sofia said...: you are a genius. start teaching workshops please.; 22:59
Peranakan Dude said...: Dude, I say go for it. Faint heart never won a fair lady...

...as for England winning the RWC, you may as well bet your money on China willing the World Cup... :D; 23:28
Kathryn said...: you are dead on with the chivalry thing - works a treat every time ...; 00:00
akd said...: not being of the religious variety i say to you:
AMEN BRUTHA!

please tell this to EVERY MALE YOU KNOW; 02:59
Indiana said...: Sofia: I think a workshop taught by a guy who knows how to keep a woman would have more credence if it was taught by a guy with a woman. Finding them to go on dates is not that hard, knowing how to keep one is not that hard, finding one that that I wish to date to the exclusion of all others is however proving...difficult.

But thank you for the kind words.

Dude: Ahhh but who says I ant a fair lady? ~grin~

Kathryn: First we had "Sensitive New Age Guy" then me had "The Metrosexual"...I say bring back Chivalry and be damned with the other titles, bring back being a gentleman, bring back manners, respect and simple courtesy.

akd: Honestly, the majority of my male friends are already of the Chivalric mould, the rest of my friends tend to be women...so I don't think such lessons would work on them.

Though maybe a little Pavlovian treatment might work...if women want Chivalry then by only dating Chivalric men they would through action and exclusion teach what is desired. Men learn fast when the access to what they desire is withheld.; 05:59
Adjil said...: Words of wisdom.; 06:00
savannah said...: ditto what adjil said; 12:18
gremlin said...: but alas, it's not that easy really. talking with her, listening to her - sounds simple enough, but not really. there's a technique - might I dare say it, it may even be innate/inborn, hence unlearnable perhaps, to some. it's in the unsaid most times. the things said by the eyes. and the eye technique is also, unfortunately, not of the textbook variety.

having said that, Indy, your eyes disclose kindness, even tenderness. just thot you might like to know.; 13:35
HairyDonut said...: And now, over to you; 15:24
Indiana said...: Adjil & Savannah: Thank you.

Gremlin: Well then my eyes are clearly giving me away. ~grin~ Thank you for totally blowing my attempts to build a "bad boy" reputation completely out of the water.

Smoot: You are not quite the innocent angel you appear. ~grin~; 17:45
Kat Wilder said...: OK, you're pretty much there with a lot of what you say, except this:

"Listen to her...this is not as easy as it sounds, especially when most of what she says you either have no interest in or no knowledge of."

If you're really not all that interested in what she says, you probably aren't with the right woman ... and she definitely isn't with the right man.

Just a thought ...; 14:10
M said...: this all sounds very game-ish (not "the game" but just the whole..structure, pretending stuff). Wasn't that what you were railing against earlier? - though I understand why you wrote it and I understand that some people don't get how to act in social situations. But those people are probably equally awkward with men too.

I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who has found this totally cool guy that she's head over heels about. Her main issue in getting past the wall in the past is that she's pretty quirky - and by quirky I mean does a mean Jim Carey impersonation. Anyway, she was just so, so happy that she's found someone who likes those things about her. She wasn't about to change those things and she shouldn't. She's an excellent sort of person and anyway..the point is - he gets her so, she never had to change.

Maybe I'm totally idealistic (okay..cut the maybe) but it seems to me that what would really work is just you know... be the person you are and if you really like her you won't have to pretend to listen because actually you probably WILL just listen because it's her and she's great and you recognise that.

We can totally tell if you're pretending to listen btw (just like we can also totally tell if you're looking at our boobs instead of up at our eyes) hehe.; 21:12
The Mama said...: keeping who?; 06:43
Miss Frou Frou said...: Call her on her bullshit

I think this is important... well it is for me... and in discussions with friends they agree... my friend NPNP wants someone who is going to occasionally tell her to 'pull her head in' ... and she says, If he's going to let me walk all over him, I will!

Great post... you've got me puzzling over comments to one of mine, but still this was great!; 11:04
Amber said...: I don't know what kind of television shows y'all have over there on the other side of the world, but here in the states we've got VH1. And on VH1, there's this show called the Pick Up Artist.

You can watch it online if you're interested.

But anyway, I SWEAR you could have been one of the students he was teaching on his show. Everything you've said is spot on with what the world's most famous Pick Up Artist teaches.

It's fascinating to read about women from such an insightful man's point of view.; 15:28
gremlin said...: The Insightful Man. chuckle. Your day made, then, Mr Jones? You're good. *GRIN*; 18:52