Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Saturday, July 14, 2007
I was writing a letter to a very dear friend, and a blog post grew...
I guess hearing of my mates loss, has shown me that we have to embrace happiness when we find it, we have to hold onto it when it is given to us, because we never know when it will be snatched away, and I am not talking fleeting happiness, but when something more is offered we need to really be willing to change ourselves, to grow inside ourselves and become better for the chance we have.
So much of life is just silly, petty and of no real consequence, we go through the motions doing what others want us to, or what society tells us is the path to take, rather than really living as we would, doing as we would and ensuring our happiness is something we embrace, not are told to by others.
I always loved the quote from "Who moved my cheese?":
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
I guess the problem is that we constantly live in fear, we lack the courage to really live our lives by our own rules and so adopt the standards and benchmarks of others as our yardstick to measure our success and happiness instead of using our own...people are often surprised to find out that in real life I know Miss Izzy, they have a vision of her from her earlier writings and it is often with raised eyebrow that they wonder about her choices and her life, and yet to me she is to be admired for she is living life according to her rules, she has decided what makes her happy and despite what society may say or want from her, she is doing just that, living life her way.
I guess I think this is how we all should live...and hearing of, and only being able to imagine the anguish of my friend whose wife of three weeks has just died I have to ask about the sense of it all...
Is it better to remain alone, and so not hurt?
Or are those fleeting yet ultimately painful connections really worth it?
Since, right now, I really don't know...there is a shared numbness amongst my friends, many of whom were present at the wedding a few short weeks ago, there is shock, there is pain and most of all there is a question of "why" and where do we go for here, and what do we take from such a tragedy.
I have given up on the dating game...I have made a few friendships, with whom I will continue to enjoy and see grow, and who knows one of them may turn in to something lasting and more, it may very well not, the outcome of which is so speculative its not even worth thinking of...I know I need to spend time with my friends, embrace the happiness they give me, write my book, and keep writing my silly little Blog, I need to think of my sick mum, I need to ensure at least for one ex-gf that I am a much better and more encouraging friend than I have been. I need to spend some time doing some things that truly make me happy instead of treading a path laid down by others before me...
...and I need to occasionally stop trying to look at the big picture and just take pleasure from the little scene playing out right before me.I need to stop worrying so much about next week, or next month, and instead just love the moment I have and the day I am living.
And the irony is as I look at the post I wrote last year at this time, I don't know if I have grown at all, or I am sitting in exactly the same spot, surrounded by different people but in the same situation. I am still looking for a "dare to be great" thing, but when faced with one, when one was mine for the taking...the truth is I did not really dare...
...I was afraid. And thats not really living. And its not happiness.
Last year in the Temple of Doom, Indiana unearthed: Turn Off My Heart
Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00
"...hardly a genius...worthy of all the sycophants you seem to have gathered."
8 Comments:
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sofia said...
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"didn't you have some plans today? didn't you have something you had to do?"
- 13:40
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Indiana said...
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Sofia: I have simply never been good at the letting go...and I am not sure that I really ever want to be.
- 13:46
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Jenna Howard said...
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One of the things I learned last year with Dad's death was to not hesitate and yet here I am hesitating. Why? Because I'm scared and yeah I wonder if I'm brave enough to change the status quo. I've tried before but got hurt and now I hesitate because (a) I don't want to get hurt and (b) I don't want to rock my boat for fear of capsizing again.
- 13:48
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lucy said...
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Oh God, that's awful news.
- 19:45
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Indiana said...
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Jenna: I have swum with sharks, and I mean that literally...and its a lot less fearful than admitting you like the girl... but fear and hesitation seem to go hand in hand...and we all seem to get caught up with petty struggles and petty goals, that really have nothing to do with making us happy.
- 21:41
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Andrea Whatever said...
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man, that is so prolific. honestly, indy, plse go write that book NOW. and let this be one of your first chapters.
- 21:55
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Shawn said...
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Indy -- so so sorry for the loss -- that's just tragic. And yes, it's times like these that can be the catalyst for change - hopefully we can make that change and live better for it.
- 05:10
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Scorpy said...
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"...and I need to occasionally stop trying to look at the big picture and just take pleasure from the little scene playing out right before me."...
- 18:35
Post a Comment"so what? if you smash into something good, you should hold on until it's time to let go."
"and now is not the time?"
"not in my opinion, no."
it takes courage to hold on, knowing that there would be a time to let go. it takes courage to smash into something good in the first place.
are they worth it? would you rather spend your life truly connecting or being alone? at times it is disheartening and painful but it seems to me as if once you've found that sort of happiness, you can never go back.
Facing our inner fears are hard. I'd rather swim with sharks truth be told.
This is an amazing post, my dear. An amazing post that I needed to read.
I'm sorry for you Indy, and mostly for your friend.
My heart goes out to him and her family.
Lucy: Thanks Lucy, I appreciate it.
Shawn
That is scary that you can read my thoughts. I could easily have written this very same post (if I was half as articulate as you) I worry too much about tomorrow and yesterday than today. I am very afraid of making the same mistakes or getting hurt in the future the way things have happened in the past.Great post, as usual, mate and I'm glad we got the hieroglyphs back :)
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