The Dog's Name

Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Bathrooms

Now I will admit, quite freely that in my perfect bar a tree out the back would suffice...let's face it I am a guy and peeing is a by product of going to a bar, but I can stand there and do it without any need to touch anything...save myself and the tap as I wash my hands...but...

Notice there is always a BUT, recent pub/bar explorations and a good chat about such things with K, has led me to revise my initial assessment...a bars bathrooms must be neat, clean, functional, and well appointed with products appropriate for the purpose of these rooms.

Now the selfish reason I have for this is simple: aparently women don't like going for a drink in a bar that has a simple long-drop and a pail of water (thanks K for this info ~grin~) and lets face it after the booze, the sports on TV, the pool table, the most popular pastime in drinking establishments all over the world is firstly, perving on the opposite sex, then secondly trying to pick up any of them that strike your fancy.

Some of the bars I have frequented do away with the male/female concept and just opt for unisex rooms with a locked door...these are functional, take less room and are a good thing to a point, but are really a big mistake...guys you will have to wait in line behind the inevitable line of woman...no quick "slash, splash and wash", and it gets worse you have to wait in line with women who know you are going to pee just as you know they are...and while this brings a smile and chuckle of knowing to most drunken guys it does not impress the women...(or so I have again been told...thanks Steph this time)

I have also drank (ok I was drunk...very very drunk...and maybe more than once.) in a bar where in order to get to the aforementioned unisex rooms you have to walk past the urinal...so the guys would be peeing and the girls would walk past in gigling embarrasment...but whether it was from the lack of impressiveness or rather the sight of so many wei-guks* I'm not sure (thanks to the Rock n' Roll bar in Shinchon, Korea for that humbling experience)

So you need enough bathrooms stalls to aid in the progression of usage and not hinder the bar from it's major task...getting people to part with money in exchange for alcohol.

So my perfect pub bathroom would apart from a decent ratio of women's stalls to mens, have a long corridor to the womens...this allow the ladies to line up, if the bar is busy enough to warrant it (and there is always a line at the ladies ~grin~) without being leered at obviously when they are in a state that usually involves "Damn I need to pee...not yet...hold it...legs crossed" rather than "Damn he's cute".

So clean bathrooms, means women will feel comfortable and they will frequent the place...more women equals more men...more people equals more booze drunk and therefore more money spent: simple bar mathematics.

* See: Ang-Moh, Farang, Gweilo, etc...

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Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Blokes at the Pub, Drinking, Bar, My Perfect Bar

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00

11 Comments:

Scorpy said...: I recently went to an establishment that has many toilets but still the women did not have enough - maybe because they all wore jeans and it took longer to get them down - so they started coming into the guys toilets straight passed the urinals. The best thing was that it ensured the guys all washed their hands, if they could get near the sinks becasue the women also took over the sinks and mirrors. My advice is to have an equal amount of mirror space with good lighting in the girls toilets.; 09:48
Wanderlusting said...: You know when your in the worst bathrooms in the city (voted many years in a row), when none of the doors lock but it doesn't matter anyway because the height of the stalls is only about 5'5". On the plus side, it does allow you to easily converse with other people in the bathroom.; 10:20
Indiana said...: Scorpy: Imagine the "howls of outrage" if guys started going into the ladies if the men's was full? But I agree the ladies needs to be alot bigger than the guys...yet in most bars they are the same size. Doesn't seem to be good planning to me.

Lusty: I wouldn't know, the moment clothing is opened for the purposes a bathroom was designed for all conversation stops in the guys...you don't talk and pee, it's just not done.; 10:49
Miss Natalie said...: I agree with having more womans amenties than mens, we do take longer blah blah blah. The only down fall is the loss of sapce, you must maximise the space you have for profit. Loo time costs money not makes money... Maybe put some pokie machines right in the hallway make money while the gal's line up (not that i touch pokies)

I'm really not a fan of the uni-sex bathroom, maybe its the venues? All sleazy blegh!; 14:31
M said...: if there are unisex bathrooms where the hell are the girls going to go to
a) gossip about the boys
b) plan an escape from the boys
?

Down with the unisex bathrooms in bars!; 15:47
Scorpy said...: Indy, there is an amazing mens room in a bar/hotel in Darwin (can't remember the name)but the urinal is glass and looks out over the dining room - true!!! It is one way glass and apparently really takes your breath away when you first walk in. My brother says a lot of guys still get stage fright and walk straiht back out. I've seen a photo and it is awesome LOL; 15:59
Sarah said...: You say that guys don't wander in the girls' bathroom if the men's is full, but that's not true. They will walk right in and pee in the sink.; 21:29
Anonymous said...: Bathrooms are important for me; I'm picky about where I put my bottom. If the bathroom is dodgy then chances are I will not go back to the place.

I'm not exactly a big fan of unisex bathrooms, and yes I agree that it would be smarter to have a larger bathroom for women than for men, since women generally tend to take a longer time in the loo.I mean it's not like we can just "slash, splash and wash".

An abundant supply of soft loo roll would be good too. Not fond of loo roll that feels like sandpaper and then having to walk out of the bathroom feeling like my bottom has been ripped apart by wild dogs.; 22:21
Traveling Chica said...: It might take away from his profit margin space-wise, but more bathrooms will equal happier women, which in the longggggggggg run, is going to bring in more money.

MUST HAVE MORE STALLS FOR WOMEN!!!

It's just mandatory. And I'm glad that someone (especially a man!) put into words what I've thought my entire life: that it's just bad planning to have the same number of stalls for men and women.; 22:47
Paige Burns said...: I agree with more stalls for women, though I'm not one of the girls who primp and preen in the mirror anymore. But I don't mind unisex bathrooms either, if you gotta go, you gotta go.; 00:17
Summer said...: I turn into a peeing machine after a few drinks. I usually go to the bathroom an average of once or twice every hour when I'm out at a club/bar.

Clean bathrooms are a necessity. I don't know if you have these where you are, but here we have restroom attendants (yes, they're even in bars... at least high class bars) that will dispense soap for you and provide you with a handtowel for drying and lotion. This is nice, even though you're expected to tip them for it. My only gripe is when they've got 8 million products on the counter and I can't even get to the damn faucet to rinse my hands.; 19:27