The Dog's Name

Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Thursday, September 07, 2006

She said yes to the date, she already likes you enough to be seen in public...WITH YOU. It's up to you to not fuck it up...and yes it really is that simple.

Unless she is a gold-digging, man-hating bitch then if she says yes to a date and gives you her phone number then she really wants to see if you are better than the rest...she is holding out some hope that you will prove to be nice, that she will enjoy your company, that she will laugh and have fun and that you will listen to her in equal portions...all you have to do is not fuck it up...she already thinks "he's kinda cute", because unless she was very drunk, or is the aforementioned GDMHB, she would not say yes to being seen in public with you.

Guys: Think about that...she already thinks you're cute...now you have to show that you are something better than the rest.

...now I could step out of this argument and suggest that since I am still single I am yet to be better than the rest, and while this may indeed be true it could be that I just suck at being a boyfriend, but I would rather gloss over this fact and look at what I believe are Indy's rules for getting a second date (since I seem to be able to do this quite well)

In no particular order, they are, in my small experience all important.

You asked, you pay. If she offers and the date has gone well and you have not fucked it up you can always suggest that she pays next time, at which time you can make plans for another date ~grin~

You want somewhere nice, good food, but not over the top, you want her impressed with you, not overwhelmed by the amount of money you spent on dinner, or the venue. TGIF, Outback or Hooters will not cut it here. If you are worried, about the dinner thing being too formal, and you would rather something more casual, find a nice bar to meet "for drinks", invariably she will get hungry (as will you) and you are just a short stroll from a nice restaurant that you know.

Dress neatly, yes that means you shave. Pay attention to your shoes...she will. Do not over use the aftershave...subtle is the clue here she will get just a whiff when you kiss her hello and goodbye.

Kiss her hello...the cheek kiss is acceptable, anything more wll depend on how and where you met...most Europeans and South Americans will kiss both cheeks, if she is Dutch she will do it three times...Do not air kiss! You are not a pretentious twat, lips make contact with skin...do not slobber.

It's a first date, she may feel more comfortable meeting you at the restaurant, rather than you picking her up, so let her know the time, the address and the name for the booking in case she arrives before you...

Do not let her arrive before you, make sure you arrive before her...it is permissable to sit at the table, but do not accept the menu until she gets there...you probably won't be able to stop them pouring you water...when she arrives she will invariably ask "been waiting for long?" the correct answer here is "I only just arrived myself"...if she is late and apologises for the same respond with "I am so glad you were, I only just got here and was worried that I might have kept you waiting"...put her at ease.

Sit so you face the wall. You are visual, you will scan the room, you will notice the blonde with the legs that go all the way up...she will notice you looking...so remove temptation, she is the reason you are there, so sit so that she is all there is to look at. Do not stare at her, and do not stare at her cleavage...yes you may look, she wore that top hoping you would notice, but a quick glance or 10 is enough...she will catch you, but she will like it as long as you do not talk to her boobs.

Another word on kissing...in my limited experience, if she likes you, has had a good time and does want to see you again, she will kiss you at the end of the date. I know some women who say they won't kiss on a first date, but I believe this is crap. If she likes you, she will kiss you...make it passionate, let it speak for how you felt the evening went, make her go "mmm", and then leave her wondering what else you can do...if you suck at kissing, don't ask me for help, I have always been good at it. ~grin~

Do not sleep with her, no matter what the circumstances be honest with yourself, you are not that special, and if she sleeps with you on a first date, I repeat you are NOT that special, besides if she wants too and you don't she will want you more...she'll be pissed off a bit, but when she thinks about it in the morning she will be impressed and wonder in what other areas you have a moral code you stand by. In this day of flexible morals, having an opinion and sticking to your beliefs will be refreshing to her.

If you do sleep with her...unless she kicks you out after the act, stay the night...you may or may not go out for breakfast or linger in bed for rounds 5 and 6 the next morning...whatever you do if you like her, tell her you had a great time, and call her sometime that afternoon/early evening to let her know "you had a really amazing time, and WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN"...do not leave her wondering if you just used her...because until you take her out again, she will be wondering just this.

If you enjoyed the date, do not be afraid to tell her...do not wait 3 days (what fucking moron made that rule up) who cares if you appear eager, she is used to guys not ever calling, the fact that you really like her will impress her...(think about it, people generally like people who like them) So the next day, not too early, rule of thumb think 10:30 -11 call her and let her know you had a great time, you enjoyed X (relate something she told you, or happened) and suggest that you get together again...

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Dating Rules, Getting A Second Date

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00

25 Comments:

Vikki said...: wow Indy, I'm very impressed. i'm starting to think you may actually be a chick!!; 11:01
Miss Natalie said...: Do not air kiss!

- Who would do that???

Removing temptation is your answer - interesting....

Kissing - if it's a bad kiss, i don't want to know about the sex *blush*

I do kiss on the first date, even if it is a Sunday afternoon coffee, it lingers just that little longer than a peck :-)

I was so tempted to sleep with latest guy first time we met, I realised i actually like him, wanted the 'possibility' of maybe more, this maybe more I feel is not achievable after a 'first meeting shag'

The phone call... That's a hard one, if he called later that day, i would’ve freaked out - no matter how great the night before was. But, he waited 4 days and i did start questioning if he would call.

- Now a question for you, he called last night i couldn't answer as i was at the Opera, he sent subsequent text asking if i were free to catch up over the weekend, i replied 'at opera, would like to see you, i'll call you tomorrow?' now, when do i call????; 11:45
Madame Chiang said...: Remember what Seinfeld said..."looking at cleavage is like staring at the sun. You get a feel for it and then you look away!"; 12:01
lady miss marquise said...: Indy, thank god there is still some chivalry in the dating world...!

What a great post, I'm sending this to my male friends...; 12:10
expat@large said...: Are you free tonight, sexy man?; 12:55
Mia said...: Hmmm I'd go for a 2nd date after all that. Great post.; 13:49
Indiana said...: Vikki: So what you are saying I should post more about beer, the footy, and huntin?

Nat: Call him either early afternoon, or text him to let him know you'll call him tonight...just like you don't like to think a guy is unrealiable, neither to us guys.

Mdme Chiang: And truer words have never been uttered.

LMM: There is "some", sadly I seem to screw up a bit further down the road after dates have become dating.

E@L: Sweetie, for you absolutely ~LOL~

Mia: So now I will have to post about my favourite second date, and how it leads to a third.; 16:21
Tiffanie said...: I wanna date you Indy.; 21:55
Indiana said...: Tiffanie: I don't think your bf/husband woud like that...; 23:06
Anonymous said...: great post. now if you could only start at the beginning... with how you get her to say yes...; 23:42
~ good girl ~ said...: Sit so you face the wall. You are visual, you will scan the room, you will notice the blonde with the legs that go all the way up...she will notice you looking...so remove temptation

LOLOLOLOL!!!!! A better how-to I have never heard :-)

Plse let us know how the date with E@L went. I am awfully curious to know :p

GG x; 00:10
Amanda said...: awesome, i read this with my eyes glued to the page. i do not think it possible that you would suck as a boyfriend.; 00:33
RedNeckGirl said...: This is a great post.....I think you should write a book! I know I'd buy copies for most the men I know :); 01:45
Tiffanie said...: Well said, Indy.

When I get out of the current "relationship" I am in, I would keep my eyes open for a man with views like you have. That is what I should have said.; 02:34
Traveling Chica said...: Oh this was PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I too - like everyone else - thought the part about facing the wall to be about as true as it gets!! :-)

I'm struggling to figure out how you screw things up down the road...; 09:11
Scorpy said...: I too like the ref to face the wall...I, unfortunately, like to sit with my back to the wall - its a danger avoidance thing - and yes I am guilty of the wondering eye when facing the room. I would never sleep with someone on the first date (unless drunk) as it leaves nothing to the imagination. I like the sexual tension when you know you both want to but hold off. It increases each time you are apart until a day comes along that it can no longer be contained. Then it is magic!. The 3 day phone rule is a wank, texting 'thanks' is a wank, passionate teasing kisses are in...so in summary great post and agree with it ALL. Well done Dr Indy...I await the book.; 09:15
Indiana said...: Anon: I'll see if I can come up with something...but I think my first piece of advice is that most women long to be simply asked...if you don;t ask you'll be left wondering and seh will be left dissappointed...a post to follow on this.

GG: I always have a good time when I go out with E@L.

Amanda: Ahhh, I probably don't but I do have my faults, and I am aware of them. and yet it is more likely I am yet to meet the right person.

Redneckgirl: Well if I get offered a book deal all things are possible...but personally I think there are too many bloggers writing books...the diatribe of a blog and the polished completion of a book are too different things.

Tiffanie: Thank you...when? things are not as they should be in your world?

Travelling Chica: How does Indy screw things up...I guess you would have to ask my ex girlfriends why they decided to become exes...but I do know that although I am a good listener I do not give the attention most people demand from a listener, so while I hear everything said, I don't appear to be paying attention...this has gotten me in trouble i the past, as for the future lets just say I am a work in prgoress.

Scorpy: I await the fat cheque that goes with the book deal...~lol~ Me, write a book? We could call it, Indy's Fairy Tale and in the end I could get the girl. ~grin~; 09:42
Shaz said...: Indy

I seriously suggest you do the three day thing before calling her back! It's screwed up but seriously, like Natalie I tend to freak out if the guy calls me like, a few hours or a day after the date. I'd like to think women like the chase too and don't like it when a guy is too easy? ;)

Maybe I'm a prude but I just don't believe in kissing on the first date?; 10:29
Traveling Chica said...: I disagree. Don't wait the three days. You're both wondering and you're both waiting: you'll both feel better.; 11:19
Anonymous said...: "my first piece of advice is that most women long to be simply asked..."

thanks indy. question is HOW to go about asking (ie without looking like a stammering buffoon who left his brain in the pickle jar).

oh... and don't laugh at the book deal. you've got a way of looking at life that makes me want to savour every little experience of life. I'd buy your book if it came out.; 23:34
Michelle said...: New to your blog, like what I've read so far. Classy post.

Please tell me - what must a woman do to let the man know she longs to be asked? (So very true).

I'm fairly new to dating, I was all of 19 when I got married and that was a long, long, time ago. So any advice would be appreciated.; 11:05
Anonymous said...: a gal showing interest in me always works for me. show interest in the chap and what he's got to say or what he's interested in (no matter how mundane).

then again, it also depends on what you want to be asked for...; 21:05
Indiana said...: Shaz: If I wait three days, then I am not that interested in her...if she freaks out because you call her the next day, then she clearly has major issues and is best to be avoided...and if you don't kiss how do you show the guy you are interested?

Chica: I hate the game fullstop, so I would rather have clear understanding about dating progression...so I always call.

Anon: Post to come, but not sure if my wisdom will help you at all.

Michelle: Simple answer is: ask him. Longer answer in post to follow.

Anon: Knowing she is interested always takes the pressure of the asking...though there are girls who play games and just lead you on.; 10:28
Isabella Snow said...: What exactly is a man-hating bitch - and why would she accept a date with a male, if she was?

Just because a woman can be cold, vicious, and cruel does not mean she hates men.

Anyway.

I'd take most of what you suggested up there. But I disagree on the menu. It's nice to have the man there first and have ordered drinks before you arrive. I tend to be 10-15 minutes late for everything. Rude or not, this isn't going to change. But no ordering food until she arrives. That I agree with.

I laughed at the shoe thing. I didn't notice when I was younger. I do now.

I'm saddened to see men are incapable of focusing on the woman before them unless they have blinders on.

If a woman is attracted to you - and if you have the balls to initiate - she will definitely let you kiss her at the end of the date.

I also agree its a good idea to call the next day - especially if you did shag her. I have refused to see men a second time who waited too long to call.

So who's you write all this for, Mr. Jones?

Almost seems like you're letting someone know what they can expect. ;); 13:34
Brosef said...: Dude...I hate to rain on the gushing parade of comments, but that is easiestly the most wussy-assed post I've read in recent memory. It's like you just recited *exactly* what the supposed perfect gentlemen should do on a date....according to your mother.

There is not an original, interesting or funny comment in there which ultimately makes your hyper-planned date pretty the most boring fucking date on the planet and WILL ensure that you will fuck it up by being just like every other guy who is putting him second class behind the woman, trying to 'not fuck it up', hoping to somehow impress her with your niceness, and then effectively attempt to bribe her by buying dinner. BORING!

Get this, despite what women say...about wanting a nice guy, an gentlemen etc...that's not what they settle on unless it's way late in their game. Women want to fun! All your planning would be for more productive going into cultivating a fun as hell personality for yourself so you're attracting cool chicks that don't give a damn about the petty details, and also developing a list of really fucking cool things to do that will guarantee you come off as the prize...the fun guy who gets it, is a leader, and she truly enjoys being with.; 22:47