The Dog's Name

Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Her: ~looking around the bar~ "So why are you talking to the Brazilian?"
Me: ~looking around the same crowded bar~ "That would be because you are the most interesting and attractive person here."

Sure it was corny, sure it reeked of absolute bar spoken drivel, but it really didn't matter what I said, she had already decided she liked me, we were both just filling time between the bar staff getting us our next drink and the next song we both wanted to dance too.

But the topic of this post is not how supremely un-smooth Indy can be when approaching a girl, rather it is about the fact that men have vision filters...where some guys see a vision from heaven, other guys see a grey person, one of a thousand people you will see each day who just blends into the background and fabric of the day. I think I have known this for a long time, but I really realised this a few weeks ago, while just outside one of the many malls that line Orchard Rd, when a mate who's head seemed to be permenantly attached to a swivel, looked at me over the rim of his coffee cup and exclaimed: "the women in this country are so fucking hot"...my 8AM intelligent response "huh! Where?" (I can be supremely quick at this hour of a Saturday morning) and then I gave a dismissive glance in the direction he indicated only to turn back to my Eggs Ben obviously not really impressed with the view...at which point he made the observation, "You and I simply have a different female filter."

Which really is to say that each person has a type, and mine and his are different?

But I did wonder, is type a learnt thing? Is it something genetic within us? Or do we grow to build a vision based on desire, experiences and a sense of entitlement? You often here people talk about having a type? What I can't decide is having such a filter, is declaring yoruself attracted to a certain type, the enriching knowledge of being intune with self, or rather is it limiting and a sign of a closed mind?

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Dating, Attraction, Vision Filters

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00

20 Comments:

Officially Fabulous said...: If I could remember anything that earned me a Psychology Degree, I could tell you what that was called. But, alas, I can't. Basically, we are naturally attracted to certain facial features and physical traits of others, usually those that somewhat mimic ourselves. Just like we are naturally drawn to those that seek similar mental stimuli. Our pre-disposed "type" is usually a reflection of ourselves both physically and mentally. I guess that's why couples sometimes resemble each other. Weird, huh?; 09:46
Steph said...: My man 'filter' skips over anything in speedos. I don't care if you're Brad Pitt, that is just NASTY!!; 10:13
sipwine said...: Um, I've dated men who are Indian, American, German, Russian, Ugly, Tall, Short, Handsome... the only two things all those men had in common, Intelligence and Charisma... So I guess thats a "type" but not in the physical sense.; 10:51
Shaz said...: Hmmm, I don't think it's a sign of a closed mind, but rather, just that each and every one of us are wired to be attracted to different types of pp. We are all visual creatures in the end, which is why we all place so much emphasis on beauty and other transient things.

Each and every one of us is different, which is what I think makes us all special, otherwise we'd all be going for the same type of person. =)

I've dated quite a fair bit of guys, from dorky ones to decent looking ones to career boys and slackers, and as much as I'm attracted to guys dressed smartly in corporate outfits, I think what really matters at the end of the day is their personality and character, which is something you can never pick up by looking out for your 'type'. =); 10:54
Miss Natalie said...: I don't think i have a type of guy i'm attracted to, i have a type i'm not interested in...

For me, its my exposure to my mothers opinion on men. She loved Howard Keel, beleived every man should be like him.. it's rubbed off a little.

Its a great thing that everyone has differing taste in the opposite sex.; 11:51
Jenna Howard said...: Yeah...I filter. There's a certain type I like...usually the ones that make me laugh. If I look back, there's no defining feature/look they all share.

Although clean is good. Clean is very good.; 12:04
Sunny Delight said...: It's strange, but the time I have spent online has removed my visual filter...although my auditory one is still almost in full force...I am a grammar snob...there I said it...I lose interest almost immediately when the spoken or written word is done badly, I gringe and move on....although in my defense when I sense intelligence and wit...that filter too comes off.; 12:50
Scorpy said...: I saw on 'scrubs' last night that one of the Dr's could not see women with weddings rings. He was talking to his buddy and they were the only ones in the room. His mate said 'all those married women please take off your wedding rings' and instantly the room was full of women...he had not seen. I immediately had the same thought about a post and you have summed it up beautifully, as usual. Yes I have filters ..I can't tell you what they are but I am drawn to some women and others don't even register. It may be shallow but it is an instantaneous thought processess. They are either gf material or they will never be. PS: The filter can be manually adjusted by alcohol..The stalker is a case in point!!; 14:06
expat@large said...: Ah Indy, Shaz, Scorpy et al, that is SO what I am talking about with younger and older men in the risque parts of town in Indy's previous post. People critical of the sex industry have their filter on to only see older balder fatter guys... guys like me. I feel singled out so often... when I'd rather hide in the crowd and find anonymity...

Scrubs is hilarious for those of us who have worked in hospitals too, unlike House which is absolute rubbish, as far as how hospitals actually 'operate'.; 16:39
Jill said...: What Officially Fabulous said.

Plus, there's also a personality element to it, in that I know I filter to only big-time-notice men with a certain level of charisma. They've been of various complexions and body types, but always the men that make me go weak are the ones that have that sort of presence.; 23:05
Summer said...: I must have a filter. Most of my previous boyfriends and even my ex-husband all looked similar. I guess I am attracted to a certain type of look. Although like was mentioned previously, etiquette and grammar can certainly turn that filter on or off.; 00:43
Miss Devylish said...: It becomes more difficult to be friends w/ those who share the same type attraction.. so be careful. I'm grateful that very few, if any, of my girlfriends like the same type of guy I do.. and more grateful still that most of them aren't single anyway. :) They're all pretty hot.; 02:21
Paige Burns said...: What an interesting way to look at it, and I think it's true for men and women. I've had guys break through the filter, men I've known casually that didn't register then one day they do something, smile brightly, or even actually look me in the eyes, and the filter disolves. Wow?! How come I never noticed how handsome they are? Shocks me everytime.

On the other hand, I know what it's like to be in the filtered group. I'm married and all, but sometimes it's nice to be looked at by other men, which hasn't happened in a while. What changed? Dunno.; 02:45
Jenna Howard said...: Paige...it's because we went drinking and dancing with a Kate all those months ago. I'm really pissed that as the only single girl in the group, you two got hit on more than me. I'm going to buy a cheap Wal-mart wedding ring the next time we go out.; 04:27
Indiana said...: Fab: I really don't want to date a woman who resembles me ~shudder~ I would rather she be slightly more feminine. ~grin~ But even if it is a pyschological response is it a learned thing or is it genetic?

Steph: Glad to see you have such high standards. ~lol~

QSW: I wasn't suggesting it was a physical filter...but for many people I know it is...you dated a short, ugly, russian indian...WOW!

Shaz: You also list personalities...and if I look with an objective eye on past loves they were all very different people, but they did have characteristics that were similar...and I do wonder if that is my type? Or since they are all in the past, was I missguided in my filter?

Nat: Had to google him...you really do like old guys huh?

Jenna: So a mans attractiveness is directly proportional to his ability to use soap?

Sunny: Damn, and my writing is always littered with typos. I also wonder if being online using this medium to meet people lowers our "looks filter".

Scorpy: Yeah but I read somewhere recently that you are a blog-stud so I think you might make it through every womens filter.

E@L: I have been guilty of this...you see and Asian girl with and Ang-Mo (white guy) round town and if the age/looks difference is huge my brain automatically assumes: money/financial incentives at play...whereas if the age/looks is closer I don't even notice anymore.

Jill: I agree that personality plays alot into attraction, but my filter tends to work at a much shallower level, more in the instant "thin slice" glimpse that says "yep, yep if drunk, and no frikkin way".

Summer: So I'm not allowed to sit around in my undies and scratch myself while cleaning my rifle on the coffee table...damn! I think everyone has a filter, some people just deny it, or regard having one as a crutch for a shallow individual.

Miss D: I agree with that, it is easy to go out with the mates when you all look for different things, you are not competing against each other...and as for hotness, I have seen your photo, and I am pretty sure you can compete in that department. ~grin~

Paige: You suddenly see someone differently than you did...which maybe goes to show us how "immature" our filter really is and how much it really is based on superficial things...when personality and time can erase it.

Jenna: Maybe you should just try picking up guys in Wal-Mart? ~lol~; 07:29
Miss Natalie said...: Trouble maker! When he was in movies in the 50's ;-)

BTW I did post about my man trends a little while ago... Tradies a few years ago, to professional sportman last year, this year musicians ;-); 08:32
Spill The Beans said...: My type: big, well-padded (take that as you will), funny and smart. Nice eyes are a bonus.

But I've noticed something similar. My boyfriend likes smallish, curvy girls, and doesn't look at much else.; 04:00
Officially Fabulous said...: Dammit Indy, it was undergrad... I'm no Doctor, here. : ) If I remember correctly... I have no idea. : )
~Fab ; )~; 10:19
lady miss marquise said...: I think my filter is schizophrenic! I; 10:47
Anonymous said...: Its pretty straightforword. Kant (famous philosopher) claimed that if an unnoticeable glass that distorted sight were put right in front of our eyes for all our life, we wouldn't be able to recognize that our sight was distorted. We can't know whether our perception as a whole is distorted by such "an invisible glass". Our perception apparatus contributes to our perception.

This is exactly the same with "hot chicks" if all your life you were surrounded by what an outsider would consider "hot chicks", then those very same "hot chicks" would simply appear average to you.; 15:32