The Dog's Name

Translated by
Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jnr
Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A man date…quite simply WTF? Never since the whole concept of “sensitive new age guy” have I heard such crap being spouted, like the media driven metro-sexual movement, what a load of shit? Men date women, gay men date gay men, but heterosexual men do not date...they “hang out” even if this is going to the movies, theatre, museum, cricket or even the pub…no, drinking doesn’t have to be involved but it usually is simply because we like the taste of alcohol…no we don’t have to profane, bang our cocks on the ground and salivate over that cute waitress in the short skirt, but we will because she is simply hot.

This is just another example of petty, over funded, mindless, bureaucrats and lobbyists seeking to pervert those ideals and past-times traditionally associated with men. Mia asked me a while ago to respond to an article by Dan, knowing full well that my testosterone fuelled maleness would come out swinging, but I refrained, I was the epitome of restraint until this man date crap came to the fore. I mean I enjoy watching Queer Eye as much as the next straight man, but I’m doing it for fashion, cooking and decorating tips to make my “babe-lair” more complete and the task of getting the lady to stay for breakfast a little bit easier…but calling “hanging out” with my mates a date…that’s just going too far!

The thrust of Dan’s article was this question:

Do you feel that as a society we place less value on male-ness and encourage a female-ness in men?

Dan expresses his views about the destruction of male values and the encouragement of femaleness in men. Dan addressed the issue from an American point of view, and I couldn’t resist wading into the “swamp of feminism” with my 2 cents of opinion garnered from…where else…but the blokes at the pub.

So hear goes: If by society, you mean the femi-nazi movement then: YES.

Why is it that in order to compete on a level playing field there are groups in society that feel it necessary not to live up to their potential or revel in their unique differences but rather feel the need to denigrate those who are different and drag them down. This is not the open debate and “agreeing to disagree” philosophy but rather the open maligning of one group deemed to be inferior or even superior to an other.

Why has it been the public thrust of feminism not to extol the virtues of womanhood and elevate them to traits worthy of aspiration, but rather to drag through the muck those traits that are typically male? We are taught that racial bigotry is the result of ignorance, of “not knowing” and therefore being fearful of something different. If this is so, then can it not also be applied to man-bashing?

I am by no means unsupportive of women, and their desire to be the best they can be (sounds like a recruiting ad for the Army). I believe that there are differences in the genders that do not allow them to do everything equally as well, just as I believe there are things a woman can do, by the very nature of being female, that a man couldn’t even hope to compete with. And I don’t see why, my desire to hunt, fish, play contact sport and drink beer should mean that my gender traits are wrong.

I am thankful that I grew up in a family in which my father taught me to build things, to destroy them and to rage against the boundaries of my own ability. But I am also thankful that in the same house that I learnt to care, to nurture and to love women. I don’t see why the modern rhetoric should mean that my values are less than another’s. I fail to see what is gained by telling me that my desires are wrong.

Continuance of this diatribe of verbal crap is creating a legion of “wimps” at best, or at worst “nice guys”.

No guy I've ever know wanted to, or continues to want to live with the moniker of “nice”, so why do we do it? Why have we accepted, with bowed heads, the ranting that has made our desires evil? Why is the very thing that women find attractive in us the very thing we are being taught is wrong? Ask any woman what she finds attractive in a man and the list will have a few of these:

Strong, Supportive, Provider, Loyal, Honest, Able, Knowledgeable, Athletic...and probably a lot more that as a guy I can't even begin to fathom.

So why is it that these are the very qualities that are being socialized out of us? No wonder the dating game is a fucked up minefield, women can no longer find the men they want, because the movement that gave them the societal power to openly look is killing us all off. And men no longer have any idea what’s expected of them, nor how to behave comfortably within that mantle that says MAN.

Dan hit it on the head…economics of the pussy.

Man dates are this millenniums attempts to be seen as “more sensitive”, or “in-touch with our feminine side”. What a lot of shit! The only feminine side men want to be in touch with is a woman's and if that means we have to act a certain way to get the prize then we will. Any guy who tells you he doesn't modify his behaviour or act a certain way to get laid is lying, we've all done it, and we will all continue to do it, because women have something we want, and we want it more often than they wish to give it.

As far as I’m concerned you can keep your man dates, my friends and I are going to the art gallery to discuss Gauguin, then to the pub to discuss that new Hooter’s waitress…you know the one…yep, her, the one with the lovely assets. ~grin~

Technorati Tag: The Dogs Name, Man Dates, Blokes At The Pub

Lectiones Sacrae Ex Libris Indiana 06:00

9 Comments:

lucy said...: I'm feeling you're a little angry today, no? :)

I think belittling of anyone based on gender is wrong, whether it's the femininazi's you mention, or condescending sexist men.

However I think the 'media' has a tendendency to create scenarios and social trends that people, unfortunately, buy into as fact.

If you were to go down to the pub with your female friends and ask them what they want and pursue in a man it will be all of the traits you listed. We want a man who will respect us, as does anyone in a relationship. Not a pussy whipped man portrayed in an article who lies about having those listed traits to get into our pants or hearts.; 06:55
Trix said...: The Man-Date? Phooey. What's next? The Chick-Date? The Dog-Date?

You're right. When did men "hanging out," a boys will be boys night, become a bad thing?; 08:50
Scorpy said...: Indy I was so close to writing about this myself but was so infuriated that I was typing faster than my brain would work (not very fast unfortunately)...I commented yesterday that 'they' now want another class of man called the Retroman - thats the guy that we all were until they tried to make us itno Snags and Metros Grrrrrr; 14:53
Imelda said...: OK, the Man-Date stuff... that's just a bullshit catch-phrase that'll be gone next month (not that anyone other than some deluded journalist or sociologist ever actually used it anyway).

As for the feminising of men, I don't know whether I buy into your argument, Indy. I think it's a GOOD thing that men have more socially acceptable options nowadays than just the He Man stereotype that persisted for years.

Not every man is genetically programmed to love hunting, fishing, drinking beer, playing footy, fixing things (and even women!). For a long time the guys that didn't fit this mould were given a hard time by the rest of society, particularly other men, and made to feel that they weren't "real" men. The fact that nowadays they have the scope to be sensitive, creative, fashionable etc for their own sake (not as a way of picking up chicks) is a good thing, and I think society is better off as a whole for it.

My concept of feminism does not entail men being denigrated or 'wimpified'... it involves everyone, irrespective of their gender, being treated fairly and equitably (this is different to 'equally'), and being respected for who they are as an individual.

I do not want my son to grow up to be a wimp, but nor do I want him to be the Marlboro Man either. I want him to be himself, a mixture of both masculinity and sensitivity, and comfortable with who that is and how he fits into society. I don't mind whether he ends up wanting to be a florist or an auto mechanic; as long as he is happy, successful and comfortable with who he is as a man.

Just because society is thankfully changing to appreciate the male florist without ridicule, doesn't mean the auto mechanic is being denigrated or expected to be any less manly. The two can co-exist quite happily, especially if the auto mechanic has the maturity to see that anything different to the stereotype is not a threat to his masculinity.; 18:33
Cinnamon said...: Dumbfounded shock.

"Man Date"??????

I hadn't ever heard of it until you wrote about it. Ridiculous!

But, YO! don't blame all us feminists - were not all emasculating nazis. I like doors beign held open, and to be treated well. I WANT to find a guy who will hunt and fish and watch sports and play golf and "Go Do Guy Shit!" - how the hell else am I ever going to get him out of the house when I want to putter around by myself?

My first husband didn't do any of those things. I begged him to go join a softball league or find some guys to hang with. Or at least joing the Knights of Columbus at our church. He didn't want to. There's a reason I call him The Fef.; 20:15
Indiana said...: Lucy: Anger is like any other emotion it rides a wave of crests and troughs in which we rally against life, our choices and situations beyond our control. I think if people were more honest about what they want, where they are and where they want to go, there would be less confusion, less angst and less anger between the genders...all it takes is honesty, pity it is so rare.

Trix: Since when...erm...for as long as I can remember.

Scorpy: Society likes to use labels...but then I have been accused of doing just that, and generalising too much...which I don't think I am doing I am just writing from experience.

Imelda: It's interesting that women see it as a good thing, since they gain from it...and yet the only man to respond to this post is in agreeance to it, and that it is in fact a bad thing. I have no problem with a guy wanting to be creative...but your arguement that the mechanic needs to see something is not a threat will only work when the florist is prepared to see the same.

Cinn: Yep, the world is a fucked up place, where people are not content to let people be, believe they know what a person wants or needs, and continually try to change people.; 23:20
~ good girl ~ said...: Well, would it be ok to say there'll always be a mix of both in men I would like to date? By both, I mean this man-man we fear society is slowly killing and the purported SNAG society thinks women want. I think media/society/narrow minds take traits that are there and then try to make two opposing camps out of it.

I, and myriad others, want a man man, a dash of the bloke in him, a dollop of wise, some sprinkles of gentle words, a trickle of goofy, and whether he wants to go throwing peanuts at the TV when his team loses, or put on a spiffy shirt to lounge at the theatre...that's all fine by me. At the end of the day, he is who he is.

And mine. (Or, err...will be.)

GG

P/S preferably, the peanut-abused TV isn't the one at home but at the pub.; 01:07
Indiana said...: GG: I think even guys, well I know I don't want the cookie-cutter labelled woman, I want someone who is a myriad of everything, multiple characteristics, a little dash of everything I have ever wanted in differing amounts...

...I think my biggest struggle in my last relationships failure was being told that "I'm not the right person for you, I'm not what you want in a partner" and this was said without even asking me what it is I wanted...

...having said that, with time to examine and reflect on it, she was right, she was close on so many levels, but one or two that I would have ultimately rallied against were lacking, and so we became friends, good friends and with the exception of odd twinges of natural regret I am glad we seperated.; 01:21
Scorpy said...: You have made some excellent points in reply Indy. I paint, I draw, I write, I cook and I clean, I bring up two little girls but I also play sport, fix cars and have bonded with males by getting completely shitfaced and acted like an arsehole, I don't use hair products, I don't dress to please (other than me) but I do hate people trying to pigeon hole me in with a SNAG or a METRO...I'm ME and I don't want to be tagged. I’m a single white male and we are down trodden enough. I really hate it though when people (usually women) will come back with the "..He must be insecure with his sexuality" or some such crap. Bullshit...don't try and psycho analyse me just get to know me for who I am. Endeth the rant :); 08:13